Day 9 - Grounded

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself as being ‘not grounded’.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have not yet defined what grounded means to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in daydreams because I wish for my daydreams to mimic my reality, I wish that everything that happened in my head actually happened in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exclude myself from the realisation that reality is of a different quality to my dreams, in that it is real and can be worked with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being in a space of non groundedness is easier than actually being Here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise,and understand that being in a non-grounded state means not being Here, and if I am not Here, then I am not really Doing anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded means being boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded means not being excited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life according to the belief that it ‘must be exciting’ and that I must ‘always be on a high’, not seeing, realising, or understanding that excitement is energy that I have created around something, and thus a way that I use to avoid what is actually really here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that the word grounded means ‘well balanced and sensible’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that grounded means being rooted, boring, and avoiding excitement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am already well balanced and sensible in my life - not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is simply how I would like to be perceived in my reality - that I have not actually lived these words into existence as myself yet.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear that I am incapable of being well-balanced and sensible, not seeing, realising, nor understanding fully that I have the support tools of writing and self forgiveness that has and will allow me to continue to open up a space within myself from which I can move in a grounded way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that ‘I do not need to be grounded’ for the things I do in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded is unnecessary. Not actually seeing or realising what the full implications of this actually means for myself. I will myself to see and realise and understand that moving from a place of ungroundedness means that I am not actually here while I am moving, and thus my movement can be called into question - am I really moving at all? Or am I just surfing energy waves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can get through life simply by surfing the energy waves that I have created for myself, not really seeing or realising that these energy waves eventually dissipate, such is their nature, and then there will be nobody and nothing left to move me.

When and as I see myself as having allowed myself to wander in my mind into some daydream/fantasy whereby I become excited and charged - I stop and I breathe.  I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I have created this energy and that I am, looking for an experience because I am used to this energy addiction, I am used to getting an energy fix. Thus I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I can use these moments of daydreaming as a route by which to go into myself in a constructive way - through writing and self forgiveness, each ‘dream’ leading me to an opportunity to become more within myself and my life. Thus I will myself to look at my mind.

When and as I see myself participating in the belief that I ‘can get through life’ by ‘riding the energy waves of my mind’, believing that I do not need to be grounded when I am riding these waves of energy, that I will be placing myself at a disadvantage is I do not speak and move from a point of energy, I stop and I breathe, and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that everything that goes up, comes down, that my energetic thrill seeking is bound to dissipate and disappear once the energy runs out, and that I will be left in opposite end of the spectrum, living the belief that because I have run out of energy, I will not be able to speak and do the things I do in the apparently ‘efficient’ manner in which I did them. I will myself to see, realise and understand that I can move from a different source, a different starting point - one that does not rely on energy and thus can be called upon in all moments of life, the starting point of breath and self honesty. Thus then no matter what situation I am faced with, I can always revert back to breath as my starting point.