Day 2 - The Good Guy Syndrome SF and SCS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect hell to fear, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that if I do not do something correctly then I will be punished.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of punishment, connecting being punished to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly believe what my parents and teachers have told me without any sort of self investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a rebellion against my parents and the faith that they are a part of. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that the rebellion came from my acceptance of faith, heaven, and hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am going in the opposite direction to faith by going into eastern mystical philosophies believing that they are my ‘way out’ of my faith - not seeing, realising, or understanding that I am just using them as an excuse to believe what I want to believe, creating my own faith instead, and believing in my own heaven and hell.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that though I say to myself ‘I do not believe in hell anymore’ - I have created my own interpretation of what it means to be in hell i.e. to not be in heaven, samadhi, enlightenment, to fall into my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be a good person, not seeing, realising, or understanding that the idea of good is something that I have created in my head without any awareness of what it actually means to be ‘good’.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that to be ‘good’ is to ‘do’ what is best for all life within a principle of equality and oneness. Seeing, realising, and understanding that being good in my own bubble does very little to affect the rest of existence, and in this way nothing ‘good’ can really be done.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I can live according to principles of what is best for all as the living of my ideal self where I take everything into consideration, and not just my myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect with people on basis of trying emulate goodness, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I am not really living as a real person but as a fabrication of a person.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that this fabrication effort takes energy and resources away from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must use this fabrication of self to get through the day so that I do not offend people’s sensibilities or get into conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that the world is a jungle and that I have allowed myself to fear this jungle, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the world to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an attempt to try to protect people from being offended by me, not saying what I really want to say to them, not telling them the truth of a matter but rather lying to them because I am scared of what might happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the need to protect people from being hurt emotionally, not seeing, or realising that I cannot protect people from themselves, I can only focus on who I am within myself in each moment of breath, making sure that I am operating living up to my principles, living as my ideal version of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to protect people from themselves, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I cannot do this, it is not possible. Furthermore not seeing, realising, or understanding that I must live my utmost potential in each and every breath moment before I can common sensically help people in seeing and living common sense in a way that gets them to take responsibility for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others when I see them going through their own polarities of hard work and reward, believing them to be stupid, backchatting to myself ‘do they not know that they are stuck in a cycle?’ Not seeing, realising, or understanding how I can instead focus myself to that very polarity that I myself participate in terms of the construct of ‘hard’ work and ‘justified reward’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy things I don’t need and eat food when I am not hungry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in excess because I secretly feel I have been doing a lot of hard work, or that I am shouldering big responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am shouldering big responsibilities when in fact they are just responsibilities and I am the one making them bigger than they actually are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things bigger than they are, not seeing, realising, and understanding that the problems I face in my life, are problems of my own making, that I have made up - molehills I have made into mountains.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of getting into conflict with people, connecting getting into conflict with people to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the need to not upset other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give attention to what other people think of me, instead of giving myself self attention as a genuine and real act of self caring and self compassion, as a real moment where I do something good for myself and choose to live myself instead of limit myself.

When and as I see myself as needing to rebel against my parents I stop and I breathe and I write down what it is that is bugging me in that moment that is making me need to want to rebel against them, what am I defining myself by in this moment? I will myself to forgive, let go, breath and move on through these moments.

When and as I see myself participating in a desire to seek some other state of being, some heavenly existence, I stop and I breathe and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that these states of being that I seek are not real. I will myself to understand that these are the very mind states that I must let go of to find who I am beyond imaginary mind constructs.

When and as I see myself as stepping into the Good Guy Character I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to my breathing and to the nucleus of my being and I live the understanding that this is not the ideal version of me, and as such must be done away with. I will myself to see, realise, and understand how this fabricated character is played out within myself and that it is based on fear of upsetting, fear of conflict, as fear of not being seen the way I want to be seen in the eyes of others.

I will myself to see that my fear of the world is my own fear that I have connected to it through and from past experiences. I will myself to see that these experiences and projections do not define me unless I give my permission.

I will myself to see how protecting people from their own emotions is actually me trying to protect myself from having to deal with their emotions that I take personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other people’s emotions personally, seeing, realising, and now understanding that I only ever make it personal for myself, by myself.

When and as I see myself participating in the belief that I have big responsibilities to shoulder I stop and I breathe and I see the pattern that I am participating in, which here is ‘work and reward’, I will myself to breathe through and forgive myself for believing that my responsibilities are especially big, seeing that I have actually made them out to be bigger than they are, and how they in actual fact, just day to day responsibilities that every human being on the planet is subject to. No one can escape these fundamental responsibilities. And in fact they are nothing that needs to be escaped from, only understood, in the context of the wider picture.

I will myself to stop worrying about what other people think of me, how I am seen in the eyes of others, and I also will myself to stop making mountains out of molehills, creating problems and obstacle where there are none to be found. I will myself to when faced with an actual real problem that needs to be solved, to slow down and to breathe, and to realise and understand that problem solving need not be a difficult process.