Sunday 13 March 2016

Day 1 - Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Desteni to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of sharing myself openly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect sharing myself to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being connected to Desteni, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being connected to Desteni to fear, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that Desteni is weird, not seeing, realising, and understanding that this is really just a cover for my own fear of being seeing as weird for ascribing to the practice of self investigation, self forgiveness, and self correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being laughed at, I forgive give myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being laughed at to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a search for  enlightenment because i believe this to be the solution for all the problems I perceive myself as having in my life,  as if this apparent enlightenment would be the solution to all my lacks, wants, and desires,  not seeing realising or understanding where these constructs have come from.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand that the only way of actually dealing with myself is by dealing with myself -  and here the tools of self forgiveness and writing  come  into play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that writing and self forgiveness are hard.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand that I am the one who is making this process hard for myself by believing that the tools which are designed to liberate me are hard to apply.  I am making it hard for myself in each moment that I   allow myself to believe that this is hard work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of posting my writing online for everyone to see. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect posting my writing online for everyone to see to fear and that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my fear out to be more than it actually is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  fear the self judgement I have  of myself to the point where I do not openly want to  share myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist only within the shadows- not allowing myself to step into the open.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the  fear of what I think others will think of me, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect what others think of me to fear and thus  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  fear my own fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not investigating myself through self forgiveness or self correction by saying to myself ‘I am on the DIP course, so I don’t have to do as much of those things as I used too’. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that within this I allowed myself to move at the bare minimum pace and ‘be ok with it’ - only really moving myself when things got really ‘bad’ for me or when life was not going ‘as expected’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an ignoring of my process when things were on the up and up,when I was apparently happy or when things were going well - not seeing, realising, or understanding how this was part of a polarity of highs and lows and that I was allowing myself to be defined by the ‘highs’ and only in coming back down hard was did I force myself into remembering myself and my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use marijuana as a door to these ‘high’ experiences, as a way of making myself feel better for a period of time, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I was just suppressing everything and trying to ignore myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I was not addicted to marijuana, and that I could stop at any time - even though the evidence was there that I did not do this and that I reverted back to it all the time.

When and as I see myself participating in a search outside of myself for some sort of solution to my problems I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see that I already have the tool available to me of writing and self forgiveness/correction, and that I can use these tools at any time to sort myself out and piece myself back together.

I will myself to live my ideal self as someone who is able to deal with himself in writing and not be afraid to ask for support when it is needed.

I will myself to remember that any feelings of difficulty that arise around writing and self forgiveness/correction are from me and that I am the one who is purposefully and willfully making it difficult for myself, I will myself the realisation that I am making mountains out of molehills.

When and as I see myself within an upturn in myself and in my life, I stop and I breathe - and I realise that this too must be investigated, forgiven and released as it is also based in energy plays and mind constructs that I have not corrected.Thus I will myself to the understanding that every high moment I have in my life is a moment which must be investigated so that I may bring myself back to myself.

I will myself to investigate all my dependencies on things and substances outside of myself so that I can stand clear as the embodiment of independance and self trust.

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