tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19536620550939565202024-03-18T19:50:08.509-07:00Creating ZakariaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-76043671516179363432017-04-19T10:18:00.000-07:002017-04-19T10:18:38.860-07:00Day 26 - Fear of Conflict <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0t_ms2YKNKeRxleGr1MS7lnFqoXylWFW33CtVzWfAmIoTPKn1MFnfkYTX_S-f6yOet1Lk3XUlarM3ryPyqvgFY3K75QKS7HZuuMXLQN-9yMz39QQCWmp9tHQdywwZ5gXQHl053BjuY2E/s1600/Conflict.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0t_ms2YKNKeRxleGr1MS7lnFqoXylWFW33CtVzWfAmIoTPKn1MFnfkYTX_S-f6yOet1Lk3XUlarM3ryPyqvgFY3K75QKS7HZuuMXLQN-9yMz39QQCWmp9tHQdywwZ5gXQHl053BjuY2E/s320/Conflict.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Growing up I remember feeling bad for people who were feeling bad or for those who were in some kind of argument. </span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-dc49de33-8730-4c5b-b990-d6bfd641c720" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought that I ‘knew’ what this person is going through, because ‘this Must be how they are are feeling, how could they feel anything else?’. This led me to occasionally ‘play the fool’ or to remove myself from the situation because of the sheer discomfort I felt at being in that situation. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in ‘feeling bad’ for people who are apparently going through some argument with somebody in front of me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I know what this person on ‘the receiving end’ is ‘going through’.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that the two people arguing in front of me can be polarised into ‘attacker’ and ‘attacked’.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of the attacker, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the belief that ‘there is no way that I can tell them that they are being unfair - because otherwise they will attack me’.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect telling the apparent attacker that they are ‘being unreasonable/not seeing all the different perspectives’ and thus being attacked myself - to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that ‘what is happening within in me’ in terms of my emotional movements is also happening within this person that is being attacked, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I can never know for certain what is happening inside the mind of these people who I believe are unjustly being attacked - and that In fact what I am doing is overlaying my own reactions onto this other person and believing that they are experiencing what I am experiencing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that the attacker is always wrong.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that the person being attacked is always right.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discomforted by the presence of two people who are engaged in an energetic conflict with one another.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I am creating my own discomfort and discord in this moment, within myself, </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for turning this fear of other people arguing into an excitement, where I would believe that ‘because it is not happening to me...I can at least gain some excitement from seeing these two other people fight with each other’.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the self protection mechanism of trying to avoid arguments and confrontations, fearing who I will become within arguing and confronting someone. Fearing that I will become this mess of angry emotions, fearing that I will cry, fearing that I will look weak, or uncontrolled, fearing being laughed at if I am on the losing side of a confrontation.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect arguments and confrontations - and who I am within them - to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am comfortable, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as a state of non-conflict.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of conflict, I forgive myself for allowing myself to connect conflict to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that I wish to keep things comfortable for myself, not seeing, realising, or understanding that what I mean by this is that I want to stay out of fights.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of fights.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of fights, I forgive myself that I have accepted I'm allowed myself to connect fighting to fear - thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that who I am within conflict is fear, fear of loss/losing, fear of being embarrassed, fear of not being ‘right’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect conflict with fear of loss, embarrassment, and fear of being labelled as ‘wrong’, Thus I forgive myself allowing myself to fear my own fear. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must always be right, and that being wrong is ‘wrong’. Not seeing, realising, or understanding how I have formulated these patterns from my early life.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember always being right in school and feeling awesome because of this, always having the right answer, and when I got things wrong I did not know how to take it - I felt quite bad. I became less enthused with things, with the process of learning as a whole. It was as if being right was the only reason there was for learning. Funnily enough these two memory points of ‘feeling bad’ for people who were arguing and also not reacting well to getting things wrong occurred at around the same point in my early life. The primary years of schooling.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that there is no point to learning anything, unless I am always ‘getting it right’ - not seeing, realising, or understanding that learning is not defined by ‘getting things right’, and that from a simple base viewpoint it is about expanding one’s horizons in the world, allowing me to engage with the world.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that learning is about being better than everyone else. That learning and getting things ‘right’ is about differentiating myself from others.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that the ‘process of learning’ is a process of being ‘rewarded’ via a process of specialisation, in which I become special.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the statement ‘I must be better than others’ - not seeing, realising, or understanding how this statement was never in fact a statement of who I was, but rather a statement of what others expected of me and what they believed to be ‘right’.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself moving into this sense of discomfort at the thought of seeing two or more people engaged in a heated/emotional/energetic/turbulent exchange - I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see, realise, and understand that this discomfort has been borne out of my own judgement on what I apparently ‘see’ as ‘happening’. Thus I forgive myself for any judgements that I may be creating or holding onto when I see this ‘exchange’ happening in my reality, not allowing myself to create a good/bad polarity, no longer allowing myself to create my own internal narrative which I project onto others, instead staying still within myself and viewing the situation with a common sense borne out of silence.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself in a moment where I am about to get into a ‘confrontation’ with another person, I stop, and I breathe, and I will myself to understand that there can be no confrontation if I am not allowing myself to go into a confrontation ‘mode’. Thus I will myself to notice that moment where I start speeding and racing within myself in a wild rush to ‘defend’ my apparent position that I am holding onto, rather allowing myself to find my own position within myself physically, to find my breath and to slow down - not allowing myself to go into a race, not to become emotionally flustered, not to allow judgement to enter my mind, but to instead listen and respond, in common sense and consideration.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that learning is a truly satisfying process that allows me the gift of being able to ‘do’ ‘more’ in this world.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-59342903030060836072017-03-07T12:39:00.001-08:002017-03-07T12:39:12.097-08:00Day 24 - Coming Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6z6uY0BD4yrV09EjbHFVuxC5bSEMkcBHOssR-v-U2nXkYtgWeF00mIkVapm2xhSWTXlUqVrpf2zWWPEq14E90fMtfKrZX8FTf3f_uoShfojFHK662CH1KS_TjB_0yOokkEntIU81ge18/s1600/Returing-home-to-Ireland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6z6uY0BD4yrV09EjbHFVuxC5bSEMkcBHOssR-v-U2nXkYtgWeF00mIkVapm2xhSWTXlUqVrpf2zWWPEq14E90fMtfKrZX8FTf3f_uoShfojFHK662CH1KS_TjB_0yOokkEntIU81ge18/s320/Returing-home-to-Ireland.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must 'come home to something'.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-49987a62-aa7d-6123-7eb0-ffd46a68e152" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that 'when one comes home from work, one must 'play'. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus participate in the belief that I must come home to drugs, alcohol or excessive eating.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that without these things my life will not be 'fun'.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must have something interesting to do in my 'down time'. Secretly comparing and contrasting myself to my ideas of what I believe other human beings are like. 'I gotta go out drinking, smoking , I gotta be with people, I have to be laughing, I have to look as if I have a 'life'.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain myself with movies and tv shows that I find on the internet, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I am using these things as I used to use drugs and alcohol, as a way to not have to deal with what is really here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have addicted myself to movies and entertainment.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that these things are 'fun' and that they can 'bring' me fun. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that they are tools of my own self-suppression and methods by which I ignore myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that no matter how much I delve into these things, I am always eventually left with myself, the drugs wear off, it is too much of a hassle to have more, the movies do not entertain as much, there is no point of watching anything else, the friends and social circles become less fulfilling, I don't see them as much. And I have to come back to myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I am not actually present while I am working, I wish to be somewhere else, I think of all the stuff I will do when I get home, I am not really here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that being here is being cool with myself, not wanting for more, not needing to be anywhere else but here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that even if I were to in these moments within my day, desire to be somewhere else, someone else, if I was to magically find myself in that place, as that person - I would still be looking to the next place to get too, there isn't really an end .</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the belief that 'there is somewhere to get too...some objective to be found' - not seeing or realising that I have programmed this belief into myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that in life I must be a success, in this case defining success as being the ability to show to others that I have accomplished in life, that I have money and prestige and that I am not poor and unimportant.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being poor and unimportant. I forgive myself for connecting poor and unimportant to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And because of this I do not really appreciate just being here with myself, whether it is at work, at home, or anywhere else in the world.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #00b050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that coming home is a physical movement of myself from one place to another, I am only moving places physically; there isn't a need to 'do' anything, there is no 'special action' that I need to take to make this movement meaningful. There is no meaning in it, hence no need to seek out 'play'.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ed7d31; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #00b050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the belief that I must do something interesting in my 'downtime' because it is the time I am not 'working' I stop and I breathe, and I realise that there is no 'off time' and 'on time', there is only time and what I choose to do within it. Thus I do not have to limit myself to this belief that I 'must do something'.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #00b050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that there are other things besides intoxication and entertainment that I can discover. I see that I am enjoying planting and discovering new locations where I live, realising that there are a variety of physical hobbies that I can take up.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #00b050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I have been using movies and entertainment in the same manner that I have been using drugs, as an intoxicating escape from the here and now. I will myself to see and realise that at the end of the jaunt I am still left with myself, that no matter how much I try to entertain myself away, the entertainment becomes less entertaining, and I need more and more to get a ‘fix’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #00b050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus will myself to practice and explore what being present with myself means in reality, what working in breath means for me and what the effects are of being ‘here’ wherever I go.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-31352263160551050702016-12-14T11:56:00.002-08:002016-12-14T11:56:37.293-08:00Day 23 - Success Drug<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1brAImBbAwFQ3DDEYmRby2ABcrOqyN5n67r2bEWiBQvM2Ck-PTZDqov8v44zb7bjppadxv5nuXlAZhd7u0aVOA-OJKgdcurL5_Ysh5GnDMTt-LpyoLjeUCGC0rqRPz2o29NcZq7iuZnA/s1600/Success+drug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1brAImBbAwFQ3DDEYmRby2ABcrOqyN5n67r2bEWiBQvM2Ck-PTZDqov8v44zb7bjppadxv5nuXlAZhd7u0aVOA-OJKgdcurL5_Ysh5GnDMTt-LpyoLjeUCGC0rqRPz2o29NcZq7iuZnA/s320/Success+drug.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I am a living being in this world.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I exist as a hope in the future somewhere.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can only exist in the future and not here.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of living my utmost potential, because I fear that I will not be able to move myself to take the steps necessary to make change happen in my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of taking steps, not seeing, realising, or understanding that steps can only be taken one at a time.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn 'taking steps' into something which should be feared - fearing that I will not be able to make these steps.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that taking steps into the unknown is difficult, because I have never done it before.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that the same process is at work here and that I only can take one step at a time.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of taking the wrong steps.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible for me to thrive in my current existence as I am now, not seeing realising, or understanding that I need nothing but the air around me to take a thriving breath.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible for me to take these thriving breaths one after the other continuously forever.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the hope that I have created in my mind, that says to me 'all I have to do is wait and things will get better by themselves'.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as being something within which I have to be successful at, not seeing or realising that success is a word that cannot be attributable to life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That life is life,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">unbounded and unconstrained,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life must have some meaning to it - that otherwise it is not life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life must have some meaning to it, not seeing, realising, or understanding that meaning is irrelevant to life, life simply exists without it.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life exists simply, and in simplicity.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being simple.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that simple is stupid, and that one cannot be recognised or achieve anything if one is simple.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this desire to be recognised.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that wanting recognition is straying away from simplicity and thus away from life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I have placed my trust in my mind, that I have trusted it to tell me what it is that I want in life- not ever stopping to consider that my mind might not be so trustworthy when it comes to telling me how to live my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just existing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in my early days of smoking weed or doing drugs, I would always understand that point that I would fear being just here by myself</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I would say to myself 'oh, that is something that I will do tomorrow, it is something that I can do at any time'</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">'why bother being with myself now'</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always wait until tomorrow to do something instead of doing that thing now.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things now, here, and today - because I believe it would be too fast for me.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going fast in anything.</span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-ee1960bd-fee7-c028-ebe1-52cb06008b67"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is better to always takes one’s time with things, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is not always true and cannot be applied as a blanket statement for everything that comes up in life.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-84420430850242019262016-12-12T09:46:00.000-08:002016-12-12T09:46:05.106-08:00Day 22 - Wanting to be worshipped<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGDhBEpHyo-Ib8b-W-N-mrZraMwshNhaXKCd_Qm74jmB_ZnJOr98_-vPscMDzWu6sxPbtw3skzRX4B7a-3MWgJ1_FBnoP3uS7unUVKuqJqKqMULysC5FUZwdOzwSC0ap3mp_5R_h3LrY/s1600/Being+worshipped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGDhBEpHyo-Ib8b-W-N-mrZraMwshNhaXKCd_Qm74jmB_ZnJOr98_-vPscMDzWu6sxPbtw3skzRX4B7a-3MWgJ1_FBnoP3uS7unUVKuqJqKqMULysC5FUZwdOzwSC0ap3mp_5R_h3LrY/s320/Being+worshipped.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have this memory from when I was a kid. We were all in our usual day to day interactions and I remember looking up to this other guy as such a ‘cool person’. Everyone was listening to him and ‘paying’ him attention. I remember wanting to be like this guy. And I remember seeing him in a moment when he went against other people’s decisions, like he was going against the flow of what was deemed to be ‘cool’ and/or ‘acceptable’. I think to myself in this moment that this is the ‘special technique’ to garner that ‘special attention’, this tactic of using the words ‘I’m going to do this a different way’...’because I am going to show you that my way is better’ is what I have been doing my whole life.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve always liked to stray off the trail, to ‘show it can be done’. To do the uncanny and go into a different direction. This need to ‘show off’ again being used to collect on the other person’s good will and love. Because that is what I saw in that moment, this other person getting so much love, and that is what I have wanted since that day. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So sometimes this technique will work, and sometimes it won’t. When it does, it does not really go as I hope (that people start worshipping me) - people kind of just look at you begrudgingly and if anything you make them really dislike you - because ‘nobody likes a show off’. And when it doesn’t work in your favour - you get laughed at, which is not so bad if one also enjoys having this kind of attention. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So if this desire for love and attention did not exist before this moment in my early youth, what came before? I can see that I was still there. But this comparison game, and wanting to be like, and wanting to be special, and wanting to be loved, was not. And all was fine in my world.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate another person getting more attention than everyone else is a thing to be had, a treasure to be won.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that everybody in the group is ‘paying’ him attention.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in wanting to be like this person and ‘be liked’.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the acting out of what I believe to be his behaviours.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that going against the dominant flow is what makes one ‘cool’ and ‘special’, believing that it would lead to that special kind of attention where people appear to ‘love’ you.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for ‘techniques’ in the words and behaviours of other people. Leading myself into what I believed I would be able to make as my ideal image of myself.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to a belief that I must actively do something different when it comes to my engagements with other people, I must appear different and revolutionary, and I must appear ‘right’ in doing so.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that i like to ‘stray off the trail’ - that this is the type of person I am, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is not actually who I am, and that this is simply a script that I have taken from this other person, a script that I have been repeating to myself over and over in an effort to have a life like him and be worshipped, trying to be something that I am not, believing that I must sculpt myself as the image of others because otherwise I won’t have anybody worshipping me.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that going into a different direction without any regard to what that direction is, just doing it because it is different, is without any direction and is just movement from a starting point of wanting to be ‘special’. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from a very early age attempt to collect on the Goodwill and love of others.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind in that moment where I believed that this other person was getting so much love and attention, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I was not really looking at the moment clearly and lacked the ability to articulate what was happening.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to use this technique of wanting/needing to be different so that I can set myself apart from others, so that I can make myself special.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not even accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I want people to worship me.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that how I wish it were in my mind - is not how it has ever happened in reality, and if it has kind of happened and I have managed to gain some special ‘worship attention’ from someone in my reality - it is never the exactly how I wanted it, and thus it is never satisfying.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being at the centre of attention, being famous, being loved and liked, being worshipped, can lead me to be a satisfied human being. Not ever actually questioning the nature of this satisfaction within and as myself.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The same goes for when I see other people who are like me, but are enhanced versions, better jobs, money, house, car, looks, girlfriend, family, etc. It is like I am worshipping them in my mind, but I am hating them at the same time. I secretly wish that the roles were reversed and I was in their place. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a showing off of myself, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this does not bring me happiness and satisfaction like I think it does.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy being laughed at, because this is also a form of attention giving where I can ‘soak it all in’.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have secretly accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that all types of attention are good attention - that all publicity is good publicity.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as going into this mindset of ‘I have to be different, I have to do it cool, I have to do something in a way that nobody else is doing it’ - I will myself to stop and to breathe - and I place the question what is the best way I can do this in this moment that does not compromise me by allowing me to follow a certain path that I believe will give me ego gratification through other people’s attention.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that we were all in our own minds in that moment, that all of us saw some qualities in this other person that we all liked, like confidence and their use of words and sound, the way they held themselves as a being - all of which were inspiring. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that back then I did not have the understanding that I have now (which would be to investigate what it is I need to do to become that expression) - all I saw was a person that had something that I didn’t - and that I wanted what they had in the form of attention. And so I tried my best to mimic them so that I could get to that experience of myself, not actually seeing that this experience of myself that I wanted to have was all make-believe.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the desire to have things ‘be’ a certain way, as in the image I have in my mind of how I would like people to see me, how I would like them to like me, how I would like to replicate this moment that I saw this other person being worshipped - I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that even when this has supposedly happened to me, and I have garnered this special worshipping attention - it has never been what I expected and wanted it to be, it always left a bad taste in my mouth. I will myself to see and realise that one cannot have this special kind of attention without creating a reaction in other people, the love is not always real love and it is always followed up in some way by hate, jealousy, and spite. Thus I am expecting people to give me this unconditional love when actually I am creating an environment in which I bring out the worst in people. I can no longer expect to create these ‘positive attention environments’ without also creating their polar opposites.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-46302252721030718722016-11-17T10:12:00.001-08:002016-11-17T10:12:28.670-08:00Day 21 - Following other peoples decisions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWc_20271BZLiAhCAbIpPyCFj9Q62Ml1V2NbEcG_07-bbHk929AyPS3bLVeZIOCHPi7Z6M2_FPz590yGuVhj0NFFvMTz0JXAsHTQxUWt2tBn07lmUhozCmckuFFMNPui8Geya7qNgkqI/s1600/follow_the_leader_by_meroe1313.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWc_20271BZLiAhCAbIpPyCFj9Q62Ml1V2NbEcG_07-bbHk929AyPS3bLVeZIOCHPi7Z6M2_FPz590yGuVhj0NFFvMTz0JXAsHTQxUWt2tBn07lmUhozCmckuFFMNPui8Geya7qNgkqI/s320/follow_the_leader_by_meroe1313.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While growing up I always thought that I didn’t have to think of anything hard - like my life career choice, I always assumed it would just appear before me and at the very least I would be able to copy the life choices of those who came before me. Namely my brother who became a teacher.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believed that ‘if he can do this job, so can I’. This meant for me that I did not have to think about what I would be when I grew up, that if ‘things didn’t work out’ or if some job/prospect did not ‘fall into place’ I would revert to what his choices were, a failsafe.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now that I am within this profession I see that it is not what I actually want to do, I do not see myself living my utmost potential through this job of teaching others. And so now there is a stuckness that I am experiencing within myself, a fear that it is too late to change course and that I am going to be in this profession for the rest of my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that thinking about a career choice is a hard thing to do.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of choosing a career path because I believe that I will be stuck in that one career path for all eternity.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect making a career choice to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that making a career choice is not a permanent phenomena, and that one can change at any time that they wish.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have been trapping myself within this belief that it is impossible to change course after one has set sailed, seeing now that this absolutely not the case and that course corrections and readjustments can be made, indeed one can turn around completely if one wished to do so, it just means turning around.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hence forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave all these ‘hard’ decisions to other people who have come before me, other people who have already made these decisions with ‘success’.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that my life would simply unfold before my eyes - that I would not have to ‘do’ anything to ‘make’ anything happen.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a waiting game where I am just waiting for things to happen in my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my elder brothers life as a template for how my life ‘should’ be.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that ‘if he can do this job, so can I’, using this as a justification for not having to investigate what it is that I want to do in my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that because someone else has already tread upon a particular path, that it means that I can just follow their lead.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can just do ‘whatever’ with my life and if ‘things do not work out’ i.e. I do not find something that I want to do that I can simply use this other person’s decisions - not having to make any decisions for myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the teaching profession as a failsafe for any failure to do other things in my career.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of making choices within a group, for fear that I will lead them into some kind of wrong decision, and that I will be held responsible.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect making a decision within a group and having it turn out that the decisions I made were wrong and being held accountable for these decisions - to fear, so I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a depression with my current career path.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as having failed at being successful in my life because I am not making enough money and am not in a ‘respected’ job’, not seeing, realising, nor understanding that within all of this I can see that I am not living my utmost potential in terms of work, that I know I can do better - and so it is not so much about being in a low paid, less respected position but rather that I am aware that there is more that I can do with my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of being stuck in my position - that there is nowhere else for me to go.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that there is no way I can change my career path, not seeing, realising, or understanding that careers can be changed at nearly any time, and that all I need do is resolve myself to take the steps necessary to make the change happen in reality.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of not having enough money if I went back to study.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘not having enough money if I go back to study’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being stuck in the teaching profession for the rest of my life.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘being stuck in the teaching profession for the rest of my life’ to fear, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that changing course is as simple as it is to change the direction I am walking in - I need only move and to see and realise and understand that my fears of it being ‘too hard’ or ‘undoable’ are merely my own conditioning that I have given to myself where I have repeated these words ‘I cannot change my profession because that would be too difficult’ over and over.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as going into this space of believing that things will work out for me and that I will find what I need to find ‘automatically’ I stop and I breathe and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that this is not actually how reality works, shit does not just happen, and anything that does happen has had a previous physical cause, such as the fact that one has to work towards a qualification before they can be qualified. I see and realise wishing for things to happen by and of themselves is a ‘get out of responsibility clause’ that I have used on myself, that I have ‘spelled’ on myself so that I dupe myself into believing that I can get away with doing nothing with my life, where I give myself permission to just float along.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that I have not failed at being successful, rather I have limited my potential by allowing myself to first compare myself to others, and then within that comparison I have not allowed myself to see who I am within all of this, thus not seeing or realising what the essence of my potential really is, not seeing what I am good at and what I thrive at because I have been clouding my vision with this idea I have of success, not ever really investigating what it is that I am naturally attuned to - and how I can make that natural expression of me into an actual, real, successful career.</span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-5c72c382-7377-a82f-2165-5089ba919259"></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-34174752470897685102016-10-19T09:30:00.002-07:002016-10-19T09:30:23.260-07:00Day 20 - Crying in a corner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxeD7kJnQ4V0h9MSgYdLQYPirMgbS8nukX6rV2V1sVithGXovRCh7zcv7aEZVbXQKx9iGgNEPcXGOSp_S_6IMCqfLEHVJDG4_ISUI9zjKMa5MOsUE_HVXq-lfyg4yeDE__guENu8X6Bc0/s1600/Corner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxeD7kJnQ4V0h9MSgYdLQYPirMgbS8nukX6rV2V1sVithGXovRCh7zcv7aEZVbXQKx9iGgNEPcXGOSp_S_6IMCqfLEHVJDG4_ISUI9zjKMa5MOsUE_HVXq-lfyg4yeDE__guENu8X6Bc0/s320/Corner.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember those moments of crying a a kid. It was a very extreme fear, confusion, terror, anguish, anger, lots of things. I would always go into the corner of a room and wail as loud as my voice would allow me, there was no choice back then, I did not know what was going on, or what to do about it.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93943bb7-ddc0-ac9f-be25-913aa47b3dc9" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Strangely these memories of being shouted at/tormented by parents is not something that was at the forefront of my memories, but they were always there in the background - I just forgot them along the way until looking into the nature of my confrontations with people, and how I had always teared up when angrily confronting/being confronted by someone. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember my early life being full of ecstatic things, there was great ups, I used to like going out to places. However it seems that this time in my life was always punctuated by ‘the next time I would get shouted at by my parents’. I don’t know exactly when the fear came about (it felt like it was always there), but I get the impression that back then I was always waiting for the next big standoff, always expecting it in a way; ‘it’s been a long while since mum and/or dad shouted at me for something, it will be time for the next round soon’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, the moment would come when I was out of line, or did something wrong by accident, or broke somebody’s something and the shouting started, and I went to go cry into the corner. I hated my parents for this, especially my mum, I wished death upon her and my parents generally while growing up.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The corner of the room was always the last resort, it was the only place I would go too if things ever got ‘really bad’. And looking back now I can see just how many times I took myself into this corner and stood there crying until I stopped.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of being shouted at by my parents for doing something ‘wrong’,</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘doing something wrong’ to fear, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the implicit belief that it is justified to be shouted at when I have done something ‘wrong’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a seeking of refuge from the torrent of emotions that I am feeling in the moment of being shouted at - by moving myself into the corner of a room and facing it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I did not know of nor have the vocabulary to describe what it was that I was feeling back then, as terror, confusion, anguish, and anger, not knowing that these words were what I was experiencing back then and not being able to use my own words effectively to explain my position so that as child and parent we could understand each other, instead of allowing myself to go on existing in a constant state of fear of the next moment when something ‘went wrong’ in my reality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that it is normal to be shouted at as a child, that it is normal to experience this kind of ‘trauma’ where it seems like ‘the world is ending’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I had in fact suppressed these moments within myself to the point where I could not remember or recall them as something that had actually happened to me, not seeing, realising, nor understanding how these moments shaped me as who I am today - as in the moments of when I am faced with confrontation, and I will feel myself become teary eyed, not ever really knowing why this was happening, not ever thinking that my early years could have influenced who I am within confrontation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become tearful when faced with a confrontation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that life is about living for the ecstatic things, for the things that make me feel ‘up’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as excitement.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of ‘the next time I will be shouted at’, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I have created the pattern of being either in an up or down phase, where I define up as being excited and happy, and down as being shouted at/in trouble.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the next time I will be shouted at’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a waiting game, where I am waiting and dreading the next moment that I will be in trouble like being shouted at by my parents for doing something wrong.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself into a corner because I believed that by doing this I would be able to get away from being told off, that I would be safe in my corner.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am safe in corners, not seeing, realising, or understanding how this belief applies to the rest of my life in the moments when ‘things get hard’ and I decide to move myself into a corner of my mind, either to take drugs or distractions to ‘get away from it all’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about my parents dying so that I would not have to experience being told off ever again.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself in confrontation and becoming flustered and teary eyed I stop and I breathe. And I will myself to remember the fact that I am now able to communicate myself fully and in detail, that I am able to see the situation before me and decide what it is I should say without becoming agitated or afraid that I will be shouted at ‘for no reason’ - even though this may happen I will myself to understand that this is the other person’s issue that they must face themselves. I will not always be dealing with amiable people. And so all I can do on my end is to be clear in what I am communicating and why. Step by step.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that taking things slowly and in the step of the people around oneself is very beneficial to getting one’s point across and creating a space for communication to happen.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself going into a corner within my mind, entertaining the idea of ‘trying to get away from it all’ I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I am running into a corner as I did when I was a child, and that I am trying to get away from a point that I do not want to understand nor face. Thus I will myself to simply stop, look, and see what it is - in writing - that I am trying to get away from, and through understanding the point I allow myself to transcend the point that was burdening me.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-76966248263228684702016-09-26T09:54:00.000-07:002016-09-26T09:54:37.767-07:00Day 19 - Fear of angry confrontations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhROtoZ5SsUotJrITEsrsTcNlgBTtJ1Hj-aanURjyDvojDSavxahW3QaB1aRpSkf-qH10kl5r8_7gxb8nEdopoUrezd2AombSCnkMhq5PHeigM0PHJbFJxbpvLCPEMgYhiZow2W8yVwfH8/s1600/Angry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhROtoZ5SsUotJrITEsrsTcNlgBTtJ1Hj-aanURjyDvojDSavxahW3QaB1aRpSkf-qH10kl5r8_7gxb8nEdopoUrezd2AombSCnkMhq5PHeigM0PHJbFJxbpvLCPEMgYhiZow2W8yVwfH8/s320/Angry.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was a moment where I saw someone was becoming aggressive towards me, where they had been ‘upset’ by me and were trying to find some point of blame to push onto me. There was a lot of worry in the moment - my skin started to sweat, I tuned into an ‘understanding mode’ even though I was quite offended and angry with what was happening.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-c6a9eb5b-6766-847b-9823-22b6fe407c33" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did not believe that the responsibility he was trying to place on me was actually mine, I thought to myself ‘why don’t you take responsibility for this point? It is to do with you and your family after all - why try to drag me into this’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was a lot of fear that I had about this person, they had a large physical presence, and they seem angry most of the time. I feared the moment spiralling into a madness where I am just being shouted at. I feared showing weakness, I feared looking as if I cannot stand up for myself. I think to myself ‘what will all these other people think of me if I do not hold my ground?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of somebody being aggressive towards me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect someone being aggressive towards me, to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I had done something to them to warrant this angriness.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear and worry of what might happen to me if this moment were to escalate.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of the moment escalating to fear, I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of escalation, not seeing, realising, and understanding that I have a level of control in the situation in terms of myself, I can assess and decide upon what I say so that I can be heard. I can see also that there are moments when there is nothing that I can do from my end, when the other person has made up their mind about who and how they will be in that moment. Thus within these moments I direct myself to step back and step out of the situation because that is the common sense thing to do.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of stepping out of the situation because I fear offending them and making them more angry.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a stepping out of the situation for fear of offending them, to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear. Not seeing, realising, and understanding that their anger is the own, and if they cannot own it and take responsibility for it then I must remove myself from the situation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself because I started to sweat in this moment, and within sweating I believe that I am showing the other person that they have effectively placed me in a position of fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being in a position of fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being in a position of fear to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an understanding character whereby I accept what the other person is saying and pretend to agree with it, because I fear the consequence if I don’t.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger and offence at what was happening, participating in the backchat ‘why is this person doing this? Can they not see how wrong they are, why can they not take responsibility for this point that they are shouting at me over?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can be dragged into a situation by another person, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I cannot do this without my prior acceptance and allowance.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of the moment spiralling out of control, and the situation becoming physical.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect something spiralling out of control into a physical confrontation - to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of showing weakness.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect showing weakness and fear - to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of looking as if I cannot ‘stand up for myself’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘looking as if I can’t stand up for myself’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of what other people may think of me if I was to not stand my ground/stand up for myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself faced with an angry person who is throwing a lot of charged words my way, either directly towards me or someone close to me, and I see myself becoming nervous or going into a fake face/character so that I can get out with the least possible damage, when I see myself in that moment before I start sweating and going fully into a repressed fear, I STOP and I breathe. I will myself to see the common sense in the situation and offer it without any emotional or energetic backdrop, to stop my own reaction in its tracks and look past the anger to see what this other person is saying. To not allow myself to be worried or concerned about what others may think but instead shift my focus to me, my breathing, and my thought processes that are happening here. What are the common sense steps to take here in this moment, is it possible for me to resolve this situation with the knowledge and understanding that I have here now? Or must I refer the problem to someone who is more experienced and can deal with the situation effectively? Thus I will myself to investigate the words calm and professionalism so that I am in the position to live them when and as similar moments arise in life.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-22360811915907931122016-09-15T09:23:00.001-07:002016-09-15T09:24:21.509-07:00Day 18 - Training Day<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfS2kQUIT-ulZSGeugmIEDIc43ye3ViHsFC4vdMVD6_JrBCzf529xZdJY3Ijd7qCI7icgfvCd0qYZ3-e0DCBVXuWk65-CW9VaSJLwsd9l2vyeUbv10myXf5hUazdv6nRtDbhB86M82PJI/s1600/Apprentice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfS2kQUIT-ulZSGeugmIEDIc43ye3ViHsFC4vdMVD6_JrBCzf529xZdJY3Ijd7qCI7icgfvCd0qYZ3-e0DCBVXuWk65-CW9VaSJLwsd9l2vyeUbv10myXf5hUazdv6nRtDbhB86M82PJI/s320/Apprentice.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have found myself in the position where I have the opportunity to train another person when it comes to their career, it is effectively on the job training for this other person.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-03c1e465-2ea8-fd0f-4dc6-2b427a0ec4b2" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was a judgement coming up within myself that ‘this person is lazy, they do not care, they do not want to do anything, they have no initiative, they are liars.’ I find myself fearing to tell them what to do, I fear standing within my own authority and directing them, instead just being silently angry and frustrated, saying to myself ‘why won’t they just get the picture here’.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is the fear of offending, hurting, and upsetting them by my harsh words, like ‘don't do that, stop doing that, do this, do it like this’. The fear of them backchatting about me comes up, as if they are somehow capable of bullying me with their words and general dislike of me.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of training other people. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect training people to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of this person as being lazy because they are not doing everything that everybody else is doing.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that a trainee has to be doing exactly what I am doing in the way that I am doing it because if they are not - they are failing.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having such a standard exist within me where i am basically saying ‘it is either my way or the highway’ not seeing, realising, and understanding that in most professions this is actually the case.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘be soft’ and ‘understanding’ and ‘hopeful that this person will somehow change by and of themselves, not seeing, realising, or understanding that a certain amount of prep work has to be done first, they need to be able to stand before they can walk, and walk before they can run.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that it is not about being soft or hard, but rather it is simply about saying it like it is, there does not need to be any emotional attachment to it, it simply is.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of telling them what to do and how to do it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect telling them what to do and how to do it to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear, within this not seeing, realising, or understanding that they cannot know what they have not been exposed too.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of directing them consistently in each moment that I am seeing that they need it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect directing them in each and every moment that I see they need it to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of offending, hurting, or upsetting them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect offending, hurting, or upsetting them to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that their offence, hurt, or upset is nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. And thus I do not accept and allow any grudges they hold against me to affect how I am with them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of them backchatting about me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect them backchatting about me to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being verbally bullied behind my back.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #980000; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being verbally bullied behind my back to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as in the moment watching something happening with the trainees that I see is not being done correctly, in that moment questioning whether I should say something, fearing a reaction from them for ‘speaking against’ what they are doing, I stop and I breathe - I will myself to see, realise, and understand that there can be no progress if I simply allow something improper to continue, that by hoping that they will just learn, or that somebody else will step in and take charge is the way in which things get left alone, and bad practice is allowed to fester. Thus I take a step back and see if I can interject in that moment, and if not in that moment a later one, where I can say to them in common sense and without and fear, sympathy, anger, or frustration what it is they could do better, and how exactly it is they should do it. To shed the skin of sensitivities that I have been wearing my whole life and speak common sense and nothing but.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-10785851531596790512016-08-04T01:44:00.001-07:002016-08-04T01:44:51.194-07:00Day 17 - I am not enough - Really?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIw1M5Aop-E_A11hmqbiCMQdotQz0ugnTRSsBEjvzQxG-5JDrQCnypqfG5l5ZP7D_OPe1EjyG6WTJpXwR_COL2JYNr5AtjnLZtXqVmH-jl_ZfCyUsaSQMZLZ8eDieYciDk4UGPEeeJ8po/s1600/i-am-not-good-enough-L-EseIyy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIw1M5Aop-E_A11hmqbiCMQdotQz0ugnTRSsBEjvzQxG-5JDrQCnypqfG5l5ZP7D_OPe1EjyG6WTJpXwR_COL2JYNr5AtjnLZtXqVmH-jl_ZfCyUsaSQMZLZ8eDieYciDk4UGPEeeJ8po/s320/i-am-not-good-enough-L-EseIyy.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am not enough as a person.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a25e6313-54a7-223f-2da3-05388378f133" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this belief that I am not enough - as I am comparing myself with others in my reality, whom I then set myself against - and say to myself that ‘I do not stand up to this being, they are better than me’.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be able to stand up to beings, standing up to them in the sense that I can match or exceed good qualities that they have, like having better grades, jobs, money’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that I am ‘stupid’ because this is what was said to me as a young person growing up.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally the words ‘you are not very clever’ - these words that came from family members, that I could see in that moment as being ‘true’ as I had not surpassed any of the ‘challenges’ that had been set forth by previous and current family.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that everything my mother and father says is ‘true’ and can be trusted.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Not seeing, realising, or understanding that this isn’t really true, as they were the ones that were telling me as I grew up, that their word was equivalent to the ‘word of god’ and thus they should always be trusted. I will myself to see and realise and understand that I cannot trust my parents in terms of their belief systems that have built around me, that I must be this, and do this, and earn this - thus there is no need to take them personally anymore when they are attempting to impose a belief construct upon me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that because my grades, jobs, money does not reflect and match where other family members are, then what these people are saying is in fact true, that I ‘am stupid’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based upon another person’s perception of me as being good or bad, in this case allowing my parent’s judgements of my grades to infect me with a sense of uselessness and inferiority.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that an average grade is bad, as ‘everybody get’s an average grade, and an average grade won’t set you apart from the rest’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that the whole education system is fucked, and that I was never really educated in how to live as and be a human being. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus when and as I see myself going into a comparison and competition with other beings about the grade that we both ‘share’, to see, realise, and understand that there is no point in feeling bad about the grades that I have obtained in the past, that my attention can be given to what is right here - through what I can work with in terms of understanding myself in every minute detail. Real Education through self-discovering.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I need to be set apart from the rest, to be shown and seen as special.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand how the need to be set apart and special is stemming from this base programmed belief that ‘I am not enough’, that ‘I need to be more’ - thus when and as I see myself going into this roundabout way of self-diminishing myself - I stop and I breathe - and through seeing the pattern and understanding what it means and where it comes from, I stop my participation within it and move myself into something else.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the dishonest belief that I am rejecting these values of ‘seeking to be set apart’ completely, when in fact I have embraced them completely within myself, as I have seen through my need to rebel through my formative years I was in fact saying to myself ‘I wish to be set apart from Them’ - thus participating in the very same construct of needing to be separate from, again not seeing, realising, or understanding that I have fallen into the same construct of needing to stand out, but in a manner in which I trick myself into believing that I am ‘not participating in the same glory hunting that ‘they’ are’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in sadness when I showed my parents my grades, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a reaction towards their reaction of disappointment, allowing myself to be shocked for a split second, and then myself going into resentment and anger.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment participate in the backchat ‘you are not good parents, good parents should be proud regardless, good parents should not be disappointed’, trying to justify to myself why it is ok for me to be angry with their disappointment at my grades, attempting to look away from the fact that my anger is my own.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that my standards for what good parenting should be like is not really based on any or principles, they are just what I happen to believe, what has been instilled into me - as I have not investigated what good parenting actually is.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-32881877521838894182016-07-10T11:06:00.000-07:002016-07-10T11:06:08.328-07:00Day 16 - Limitation<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have been fighting for my limitations.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-4594dd61-d5f8-62b1-392b-c80a5c8e70a8" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am not fighting my limitations, when I can see I am making excuses for myself in every possible way, making excuses to avoid myself and to carry on living in the same way I always have.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for my limited state of being, believing that it is their fault that I am here - that it is some outside constraint that stops me from living my utmost potential.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk9E0Y2n7KHEytld1sy8q2q3mfP_0d8XIRl7XShrmlcTgyPFs0xvnHvCciPlTHyZ1Jk_35EM1OsHWa3oo_LHjEo8fLChwbbNXxIyibEuTDhk_nlUvyx6PQdhxcVBPi2bKxKXAtnFd4GJ8/s1600/Limitation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk9E0Y2n7KHEytld1sy8q2q3mfP_0d8XIRl7XShrmlcTgyPFs0xvnHvCciPlTHyZ1Jk_35EM1OsHWa3oo_LHjEo8fLChwbbNXxIyibEuTDhk_nlUvyx6PQdhxcVBPi2bKxKXAtnFd4GJ8/s320/Limitation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a secret wish for some outside agency to come and ‘save’ me from myself, to lift me up and out of my life and into another one, a life that is ‘better’. Not seeing, realising, or understanding how I have not remembered who is responsible for what I am experiencing in each moment of breath - me. Thus even if I was lifted into a ‘new life’ I would still create the same shit for myself, perhaps even on a grander level.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a belief that other people have a directive influence over me when in actuality I am the one moving,influencing, and directing myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past as a definition of myself, believing that past is what defines me - not seeing, realising, or understanding that I am defining it thus.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my family for their choices that they have made, for their beliefs and their attitudes, and for their state of being, not seeing, realising, or understanding that there patterns are my own, and that we share nearly all of them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself when I fail in my applications, instead of seeing, realising, and understanding that within this failure to do what I have set out to do, I can instead investigate why it is I failed, and hence dis-cover what it is that holds me back.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in my daily living.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a self sabotaging of myself by worrying about what others will think of me when I express myself - hence stopping my expression before I have even begun to express.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself participate in a self limiting of myself through fear of failure and fear of being wrong, not seeing, realising, or understanding that failing and being wrong is a part of the learning process, and that I need not let past experiences of humiliation at failing/being wrong guide me into not making any mistakes or failings whatsoever - through not allowing myself to ‘put myself out there’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am less than my mind and as such have no control over how I experience myself on a day to day basis.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I am responsible for myself in all ways, and that when I start to see myself thinking and feeling ‘I need someone or something to take me out of this rut’ - I stop I and I breathe - and I will myself to bring myself back to the realisation that it is all me, that I am responsible for All of it, for every thought, emotion/feeling, and backchat, and in realising this, to understand that I am capable of stopping whatever it is that is ‘on my mind’, through the simple understanding that it is me, and that it is showing me what I have accepted and allowed to exist within me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to investigate all memories which I have not cleared, and to expunge them from my beingness until such a point that when I think of the memory, there are no more reactions.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in a fear of failure, a fear of being wrong, a fear of embarrassment or humiliation - I stop and I breathe. I see, realise, and understand that being afraid to fail means that I do not allow myself to opportunity to expand myself. Thus I will myself to let go of the fear of failures and to understand that it is all part of the learning process, and thus to not judge failure when it does happen. Furthermore seeing, realising, and understanding that embarrassment and humiliation are thoughts and emotions that I add on to failure, within this realising that I do not need to add these on to those moments where I have ‘got it wrong’.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-13476827556180391972016-06-13T10:04:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:04:05.581-07:00Day 15 - Comparison<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Hrgx5Sp3nhtRLLwStoIt5lB49CxVJ0YQbTkaTIkfhgPV1smkjxziRqr2oPkusOkP9DoO5FDWam1lnsXnvyeMmLSuHUPloYC6sL_fMyFKaREpqkzq82G7FS-9zwAfnM9C6P7wFwg_dkg/s1600/Comparison+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Hrgx5Sp3nhtRLLwStoIt5lB49CxVJ0YQbTkaTIkfhgPV1smkjxziRqr2oPkusOkP9DoO5FDWam1lnsXnvyeMmLSuHUPloYC6sL_fMyFKaREpqkzq82G7FS-9zwAfnM9C6P7wFwg_dkg/s320/Comparison+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of my position at work.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-d40826df-4ab0-741c-09f0-c3bf33741ac8" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that there are those that are better than me because they are in a higher position.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in offence when somebody says to me ‘you’re not even my teacher, you are just an assistant’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a covering up of my emotional reactions with the words ‘I do not care what you say’, when really I do deeply care what they say because this is evident in my initial reaction.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger at hearing somebody say I am just an assistant, not seeing, realising, or understanding that my anger comes from my own self acceptance of a judgement that I hold about myself which is that ‘I am in a low position, and hence I am inferior’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have somewhat secretly been judging myself for my position in life, thinking and believing that ‘I have not made it as I imagined I would’ and that I ‘am not as successful as I wanted to be’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a comparing of myself to others in my family and my life where I have seen and assumed that other people are living a better quality of life than me, that they have more than me, more education, more money, more status, more everything.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have defined myself according to materialism without even realising that I have done so, believing myself to be past ‘all of that’, believing that ‘things’ do not define who I am, when in actuality when I see someone with more I feel angry and jealous, and from this first moment I start down the road of comparing until I have forgotten about them or they are not in my life anymore.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by money, not even seeing, realising, or understanding that I have done this, or how I have done this.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realise and understand that it is by my very acceptance and allowance of money as the most important point of life that I have created it as an entity outside of myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise, and understand that I have developed myself and understand that I have devalued myself as life by placing my self worth outside of myself in other constructs and other people, not realising that every time I do and did this I am in fact creating a fissure within myself whereby I am stating to myself that I am not worthy, that I am not life, completely disregarding the fact that life is given equally to all, that we are essentially the same, that all notions of higher and lower begin and end with me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a reaction towards people who name me as being lower, who ‘call out my position’ in a derogatory way.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in that moment perceive myself as being compared to those around me, by those around me, not seeing, realising, nor understanding that I have created this drama in my head, and that actual real life does not live up to these delusions of inferiority.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as looking at somebody from the perspective of judging their qualities and then from here going into self comparison and self judgement I stop and I breathe. And I will myself to compare the two scenarios of when I am in comparison and when I am not, to see, realise, and understand that living a life without comparison is not only more preferable but also more practical - as there is no enslavement to anger, jealousy, and inferiority, thus freeing myself into a whole new world beyond that of this extremely limiting and self defeating design that I choose to participate in. I will myself to expose the points in writing that I still hold onto and to then to release myself through self forgiveness of the points that I see.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand how comparison begins and ends with me</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-58454908167349516662016-06-06T09:46:00.002-07:002016-06-06T09:46:33.799-07:00Day 14 - I am afraid I will change<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihL347ynNZm7994inM9a30lObE9MSQiKpaD1VNKqkv2zLlhqqcbTa4mncVGBGDxq_SAEbhF8hb5UqLz_TYkqGpIBjhI1B-klZGfUc23mQbaNpI2-d6uWiRUDKYdH95OFF8wZxdQI2jqaM/s1600/Change.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihL347ynNZm7994inM9a30lObE9MSQiKpaD1VNKqkv2zLlhqqcbTa4mncVGBGDxq_SAEbhF8hb5UqLz_TYkqGpIBjhI1B-klZGfUc23mQbaNpI2-d6uWiRUDKYdH95OFF8wZxdQI2jqaM/s320/Change.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am afraid of taking that quantum leap into total self-forgiveness, total self- commitment. Total devotion to myself. I have been afraid of ‘making too much of a change’...that ‘this will be traumatic if I change too quickly’...’better to do it slowly than rush into it’...’I am afraid of changing’...that ‘I will piss people off around me too much if I change too suddenly’.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-4610fbab-2699-69ca-1d32-cc71514e714b" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not doing self forgiveness on my ‘designated self-forgiveness day’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘not doing self forgiveness’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone that has a designated ‘self-forgiveness day’, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I am limiting myself absolutely by choosing to only do self-forgiveness on the day that i talk with my buddy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the belief that if I do a few self forgiveness statements, then I can go and watch and/or eat something as a reward.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must reward myself for doing self-forgiveness or anything process related. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘process’ to reward, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reward my own reward. I see that the reward at the beginning and the end are both not real, my desire for it is not real, and it is not real when I am apparently rewarding myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that i can reward myself for things that I have done, not fully seeing, realising, or understanding that I am in fact justifying another moment when I am not here fully with breath, breathing in and out with awareness of who I am as my ideal self. Bullshitting myself into a corner/box so that I can go into my mind further.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a total self commitment to myself because I believe that it will be hard. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that this process will be hard for me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear process, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘ process’ to fear, forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that these words that I say to myself like ‘better not move too quickly, no need to rush, you don’t want to change too quickly’ are all part of my own mind delusion, my mind shackling that seeks to keep me within my current patterns and structures.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that these excuses, this unwillingness to change, is all me. And within this I have separated myself from myself, creating almost a different entity within myself that gives me an excuse to not change who I am. Thus through understanding that this is all coming from me, I can now stop and direct these moments, because I am seeing that it is just me trying to hang onto myself, to hang onto my identity that I have built for myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What am I really afraid of losing here? I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I have everything to gain from jumping right into my process and indeed I have nothing to lose except my fear that I have of reality and my thoughts and beliefs that hold me back from achieving my utmost potential.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a belief that this will just happen one day, and that I will not have to work to change who I am and live the ideal version of myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to write everyday, this is my commitment to myself, because I see that when I do not/am not writing, shit just accumulates to the point where I really don’t want to face it, hence no reason to carry on accumulating, I can just chip away at myself every day, until I start falling away, until there is nothing left.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that this fear of causing reactions within people is just another excuse that I use to hang on, to not live, to not have to do anything with myself.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand how there is a delight that comes from getting to know myself, from releasing myself from me and from the constraints I have put on me, that I do not need to just ride the highs between writing, feeling still when I have written, and slowly coming back down to my mind level, and then writing again, like going up and down all the time. I will myself to see that I can reach a point of consistency within myself all the time, and that i do not need to just give myself ‘booster shots’ of writing, I thus will myself to investigate myself through writing, forgive myself, correct myself, and begin the process of living the correction in each moment of my existence..</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-66496375432014735812016-06-05T14:25:00.000-07:002016-06-05T14:25:08.060-07:00Day 13 - OCD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzerLwPWv6cM97MBRymlKepPth6KjW3yLlhfJZ7dyrdrka0aXxLcakaxjll443E35jwUurJ4Qv4z0jZkr8r5DIGpvBs9y8zj2HO-obYmFKtaXgb84k3Q3r2gJkFOo3pMvEhl9x-e9bjrw/s1600/OCD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzerLwPWv6cM97MBRymlKepPth6KjW3yLlhfJZ7dyrdrka0aXxLcakaxjll443E35jwUurJ4Qv4z0jZkr8r5DIGpvBs9y8zj2HO-obYmFKtaXgb84k3Q3r2gJkFOo3pMvEhl9x-e9bjrw/s320/OCD.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of not having locked the doors properly.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-358e9dfe-2271-e7a7-3cfc-e784a52054b8" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect not locking the doors properly to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate i the belief that I have not locked something properly if I have not checked it a dozen times over.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am checking because ‘something may have happened between my last check, and this very moment - something may have changed, the lock may have broken and become unfunctional - hence I must check it again’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly participate in the thought that something could have changed within the locking mechanism since the last moment I checked it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that ‘I have a responsibility to check these doors and locks, for if I do not check them properly something bad may happen, and then I will be responsible for it’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of not having locked my bicycle properly, not seeing, realising, or understanding that within all of these situations I can and have seen that the door, window, padlock, lock, has all be locked effectively and properly, hence there is no need to check it, but I allow myself to participate in the niggling thought ‘perhaps I didn’t do it right this time?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a second guessing of myself when it comes to locking up a place or a thing in my reality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of the front door not being locked properly, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the front door not being locked properly to fear, and thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of the key being left in the door and someone taking and copying it, and then later breaking into my house.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the key being left in the door to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief locks need to be checked a lot of times before I can deem them safe.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being held responsible for something that I am ‘in charge’ of locking up, fearing that I will be seen as someone who is not able to take responsibility for things effectively.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of losing my job if I do not lock up properly.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the act of checking a door, window, lock, or padlock more than 3 times because I fear that it is not closed properly - I stop and I breathe. I will myself to slow down at what i have physically done, and to then stop and move on to the next thing that needs to be locked. I will myself to stop second guessing myself through seeing, realising, and understanding that I have done what I was supposed to do - that there is nothing else that can be done, and that hanging around and constantly checking is not going to change the fact that the door, window, lock, or padlock is Locked.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the thought ‘but what if I have not done it right this time?’ - I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see, realise, and understand that this fear is all me, and within this to realise that there is no use second guessing myself if I have already checked the thing a few times, it does not need to be checked again five more times, this is only showing me that I have become possessed with fear.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-1962227733389154012016-05-29T11:59:00.000-07:002016-05-29T12:00:41.830-07:00Day 12 - Positive Energy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXndlUHd-J9KK0PbQMDusBAAZKRmoErFutNBkuBK4aFlnB6GvbGupWdVVfWTc0wQFXwUSE3FU4089WAHDhoNsqA06zX6y-SS48VkpeBeCruRAzRXGFS-LK4SNX4FBLrWZ8fC38JcoHYNk/s1600/Positive+energy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXndlUHd-J9KK0PbQMDusBAAZKRmoErFutNBkuBK4aFlnB6GvbGupWdVVfWTc0wQFXwUSE3FU4089WAHDhoNsqA06zX6y-SS48VkpeBeCruRAzRXGFS-LK4SNX4FBLrWZ8fC38JcoHYNk/s320/Positive+energy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Throughout my day I see myself accessing positive energy, believing that I need it to be able to be able to get by in the world in an effective way. To get by the day in a ‘charmed’ way so to speak. It will even come to a point where I do not wish to carry out tasks or responsibilities unless I first can see that I have the energy bank filled - or I will wait for it to be filled before I fulfil a particular task.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-34da2578-fde0-153e-31be-9a16820b2706" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I need energy to move through the world in a way in which I am happy with myself, where I can show the best side of myself through showing that I have lots of energy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I need energy to live my utmost potential in the world.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am not able to be at my best without having high energy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that I must always show a positivity in what I think, say, and do.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be in a state of high energy to be able to fulfil all of my responsibilities as well as participate in extracurricular activities, that without having a surplus of energy - I will not be able to do the things that I need and want to do in my life.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by energy, not seeing, realising, or understanding that the energy I refer to is a mental energy, and that this mental energy throughout my life has always dissipated and ‘run out’. Thus if I am allowing myself to only move from a point of mental energy then when I do not have this mental energy I will not do the things that need to be done because I will believe that I have run out of steam.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that there is mental energy, and physical energy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a seeking out of positive energy so that I can get a ‘fix’ because I secretly love positive energy and the feelings it gives me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that it is ‘okay’ to participate in positive energies.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only ‘feel better’ in any moment dependant upon whether I have positive energy.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use positive energies as little rays of sunshine within myself and my life.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto positive energy within the belief that within positive energy life has meaning, not seeing, realising, or understanding that how I feel does not have to be based on positive energy mind experiences, but that I have a choice to be stable in who I am.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself seeking out a positive energy experience, I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see that this positive energy is a self creation and that I cannot use it as a solution towards the ‘problems’ and responsibilities I have in my life - as by its very nature it will dissipate and return to nothing, and then after the high I will be left feeling low.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I will myself to let go of these positive energy moments through speaking the forgiveness statement ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access the energy of positivity in this moment - believing that I need to be positive to function effectively in this moment - not seeing, realising, and understanding that all I Have to do is breathe and direct myself within common sense, within self honesty, and through this discover, what is the movement, action, or words that I can speak that will be aligned to what is best for all?</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-35706169944041810472016-05-23T10:13:00.003-07:002016-05-29T12:00:32.164-07:00Day 11 - Directive<b id="docs-internal-guid-d6c93eb8-de9a-9f38-71ca-3884e45629f7" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS1y98dy3c8oPu_imsV7grw_UvudZzjIZpwq0-v-CXBp0U0u_HGOuq79B9PvLNe03iuQ75sn4UO9Opx5XtrQz1HEQ3cSI9uDSg9oRfWWinLMdbXz92od7h6loDdXqLIh-9064D76odxf0/s1600/Directive+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS1y98dy3c8oPu_imsV7grw_UvudZzjIZpwq0-v-CXBp0U0u_HGOuq79B9PvLNe03iuQ75sn4UO9Opx5XtrQz1HEQ3cSI9uDSg9oRfWWinLMdbXz92od7h6loDdXqLIh-9064D76odxf0/s320/Directive+1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being directive means being in charge of things.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be in charge of things because it shows I have power.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I am defining myself as somebody who does not have any power as this is revealed to me in my need to show people that I have power. Hence showing myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as powerless.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly wish that I was a leader.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fantasy that I am a leader of people, not fully seeing, realising, or understanding that this only exists within my mind as fantasies and imaginations, where I take real life situations out of context and make them more than they actually are.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being directive means telling people what to do.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that telling people what to do means showing power, not seeing, realising, or understanding that real power is something which I have not fully grasped yet, which I have not yet defined for myself. So I see that I must base my power on self honesty and living words that I have ‘formatted’ and redefined for myself in a way that supports All.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that telling people what to do and how to do it makes me a better person.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this belief that being a better person must come from outside of me and must be exhibited in my actions of being able to effectively lead and shepherd people, not seeing, realising, and understanding that what I really want for myself is to be an upstanding human being whose living is based on principles that benefit, whose existence adds instead of takes away.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Therefore I will myself to let go of the notion that being this ideal human being, this ideal version of myself must come from outside of myself, willing myself to see, realise, and understand that this potential principled living of me can only come from within myself as how I choose to breathe, think, and act in the world, and whether or not this is based upon self honesty.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that real power, real authority comes from a self stability that itself comes from getting to know oneself, through the tools of writing and self forgiveness I direct myself to become this power within myself and my life and to apply these tools everyday for myself.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself going into a fantasy of being a leader of people, or having control and/or authority I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see where this fantasy is coming from, and in seeing where it has come from to stop and release myself through self forgiveness and breath, and to come back down to reality where the real work of self improvement happens. Because self improvement does not come to me from my mind’s projections and hallucinations but rather it comes about through dedicated self investigation in self honesty.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on fantasy to placate any real world desire to self expansion.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-31765982253723885082016-05-02T00:45:00.000-07:002016-05-02T00:49:04.745-07:00Day 10 - Stable<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyl9HoE27vHgoNr60T_YnDgw1ctlQgtcyKbXtzyFCi0EeM9UYW27YMnyMFFBY0DlajSFuEWr3KHdUjBnIcOmZTxDhm5pCLYsvDKiCbR4576O3e9CmfT9pgf0g8G-Xjr_j0zC7v_okyJS8/s1600/Stable.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyl9HoE27vHgoNr60T_YnDgw1ctlQgtcyKbXtzyFCi0EeM9UYW27YMnyMFFBY0DlajSFuEWr3KHdUjBnIcOmZTxDhm5pCLYsvDKiCbR4576O3e9CmfT9pgf0g8G-Xjr_j0zC7v_okyJS8/s320/Stable.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself as not being stable enough in my life.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-3d327bef-7069-1f43-810a-3e35109e26a7" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unstable.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am unstable because I have too many thoughts moving through my head, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I am the mover of my thoughts. Furthermore not seeing, realising, and understanding that I am not yet aware of how or why I move into particular thought patterns and that self honest investigation is required to understand the root and beginnings of each thought that I have allowed to pass through me, and that through understanding by writing and forgiveness I can begin my process of stopping.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am a stable human being, when in reality I can see that I am cycling between ups and downs as feelings and emotions, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I am peddling the gears of my mind within my imagination to fool myself into going into feeling or emotion.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that it is other things outside of myself that make me unstable, believing that situations and peoples in my life are the causes of what makes me angry or upset. Pinning the blame on other things and people for how I am within myself. Not being able to see that I am the root cause of my reactions towards these points in my world. and so I react when these points in my world do not go the way I had wished them to go - then throwing myself into turmoil, believing that I have no choice in the matter but to feel a certain way.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise, and understand that I am in fact living the consequences of my past decisions to act/not act, seeing now that I can actually begin to stop living these consequences through simply moving myself to do what is necessary in the moment, before the situations becomes unstable.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I need to hold some kind of ‘special energy reserve‘ to get through emotional turbulences in my life, and that I must call on this reserve whenever things are not going as planned.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being stable means not being affected by things, not seeing, realising, nor understanding that being unaffected does not give me a pass to ignore the situation and allow it to get worse.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that being stable is staying able, and that staying able entails being aware of the situation and working With it so as to allow it to blossom into a solution that is best.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as assigning blame for something that I am experiencing within myself, to someone else - I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see, realise, and understand the madness of what I am saying to myself as the belief that another person/thing/situation can be responsible for the way I am experiencing myself Within Myself. I will myself investigate and release the points through writing and self forgiveness so that I can come to a point of clarity and understanding on the situation, so that I stop blaming others for my instability and start taking authority of myself through taking authorship over each and every aspect of myself as my mind.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus doing simple things like preparing the groundwork for projects instead of waiting for the last minute to get things done, and then allowing myself to experience the trials and tribulations that come with not having fulfilled responsibilities, thereby removing any causes for discomfort later on down the road, knowing that I have taken all the necessary steps I have needed too.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I will myself to see, realise, and understand that the first step is to be Truly unmoved by things that are happening around me, being the definition of stable as the words ‘firmly established’ within myself through the process of writing and self forgiveness - but to then see that there is another step that needs to be taken which is to work With the situation - to make it the Best that it can be, to not allow it to fester into some greater problem but to rather see and then take the steps that need to be taken to remediate the situation.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that in all instances of life prevention is the best cure and that this principle can be lived by just seeing what needs to be done Before it needs to be done, not waiting for situations to develop and ambush me, but rather taking active steps to prevent and remedy problems before and as they arise.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-80819662930830263122016-04-24T11:42:00.001-07:002016-04-24T11:48:07.297-07:00Day 9 - Grounded<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0rxPwOLi7jwMpub6pESTP4RtYM3KYrCwOB9DiCx-0LHIt6Vd_rkGMJy2dEdVjmgSwpyHPa10BPVuLM64MdnR_1lsAb-L5g7Al8DW272HAZvY9O-cPqMCdxtqHigQS8DRh38posv0r6ug/s1600/grounded.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0rxPwOLi7jwMpub6pESTP4RtYM3KYrCwOB9DiCx-0LHIt6Vd_rkGMJy2dEdVjmgSwpyHPa10BPVuLM64MdnR_1lsAb-L5g7Al8DW272HAZvY9O-cPqMCdxtqHigQS8DRh38posv0r6ug/s320/grounded.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself as being ‘not grounded’.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-3a9cf294-4994-4fb1-42e6-4033dad03fb5" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I have not yet defined what grounded means to me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in daydreams because I wish for my daydreams to mimic my reality, I wish that everything that happened in my head actually happened in the world.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exclude myself from the realisation that reality is of a different quality to my dreams, in that it is real and can be worked with.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being in a space of non groundedness is easier than actually being Here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise,and understand that being in a non-grounded state means not being Here, and if I am not Here, then I am not really Doing anything.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded means being boring.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded means not being excited.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life according to the belief that it ‘must be exciting’ and that I must ‘always be on a high’, not seeing, realising, or understanding that excitement is energy that I have created around something, and thus a way that I use to avoid what is actually really here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that the word grounded means ‘well balanced and sensible’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that grounded means being rooted, boring, and avoiding excitement.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am already well balanced and sensible in my life - not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is simply how I would like to be perceived in my reality - that I have not actually lived these words into existence as myself yet.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear that I am incapable of being well-balanced and sensible, not seeing, realising, nor understanding fully that I have the support tools of writing and self forgiveness that has and will allow me to continue to open up a space within myself from which I can move in a grounded way.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that ‘I do not need to be grounded’ for the things I do in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being grounded is unnecessary. Not actually seeing or realising what the full implications of this actually means for myself. I will myself to see and realise and understand that moving from a place of ungroundedness means that I am not actually here while I am moving, and thus my movement can be called into question - am I really moving at all? Or am I just surfing energy waves.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can get through life simply by surfing the energy waves that I have created for myself, not really seeing or realising that these energy waves eventually dissipate, such is their nature, and then there will be nobody and nothing left to move me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as having allowed myself to wander in my mind into some daydream/fantasy whereby I become excited and charged - I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I have created this energy and that I am, looking for an experience because I am used to this energy addiction, I am used to getting an energy fix. Thus I will myself to see, realise, and understand that I can use these moments of daydreaming as a route by which to go into myself in a constructive way - through writing and self forgiveness, each ‘dream’ leading me to an opportunity to become more within myself and my life. Thus I will myself to look at my mind.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the belief that I ‘can get through life’ by ‘riding the energy waves of my mind’, believing that I do not need to be grounded when I am riding these waves of energy, that I will be placing myself at a disadvantage is I do not speak and move from a point of energy, I stop and I breathe, and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that everything that goes up, comes down, that my energetic thrill seeking is bound to dissipate and disappear once the energy runs out, and that I will be left in opposite end of the spectrum, living the belief that because I have run out of energy, I will not be able to speak and do the things I do in the apparently ‘efficient’ manner in which I did them. I will myself to see, realise and understand that I can move from a different source, a different starting point - one that does not rely on energy and thus can be called upon in all moments of life, the starting point of breath and self honesty. Thus then no matter what situation I am faced with, I can always revert back to breath as my starting point.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-2853957616162449182016-04-21T09:09:00.001-07:002016-04-21T09:09:42.911-07:00Day 8 - Standing<b id="docs-internal-guid-ecaa43ca-398f-3c4e-bed7-3e1954d8b539" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin92UiH1C55jU_TvmgTik3UT7D_7vPBU-zrj_rP0CR9UCjEUSBRhchdqDmFQBCew9oB2XNH8KVM5N_8kUeeiJn1QBelig39GRGfv78dy5l2EUYZoxoVPkiwkoaeqPhAgIzQJPjX5i3g4g/s1600/Standing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin92UiH1C55jU_TvmgTik3UT7D_7vPBU-zrj_rP0CR9UCjEUSBRhchdqDmFQBCew9oB2XNH8KVM5N_8kUeeiJn1QBelig39GRGfv78dy5l2EUYZoxoVPkiwkoaeqPhAgIzQJPjX5i3g4g/s320/Standing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of ‘standing up’ and taking responsibility.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that standing means taking responsibility for myself and other people and things. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that this point of taking responsibility for myself-people-things is connected to standing, though it is not ‘standing’ as the real life definition of the word.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘taking responsibility’ to the definition of ‘standing’ as ‘position, status, and reputation’ - seeing, realising, and understanding that the three things that these words share is responsibility, as responsibility or lack thereof is implied within these words, but it’s definition does not rest solely in this word.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that standing means having to do ‘the hard things in life’. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘standing’ to ‘hard things in life’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that life is either ‘hard’ or ‘‘easy’.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect life to the polarity of hard and easy, not seeing, realising, or understanding that Life is Life, and that my experience of hard and easy comes from myself as the acceptance or resistance of certain moments, such as a resistance to doing new things in my life - this resistance is based on a fear of the unknown - or when I am very accepting of an experience due to familiarity and trust. I am seeing that both of these points of resistance and acceptance are mind-games I play with myself, as I see and realise that they are just opinions (and are ever changing) and that I am the author of my opinions in every way</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #d60000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #009000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that my opinions can never be trusted - as they do not come from a place of common sense.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be a breadwinner.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be a provider.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of ‘providing’ for others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘providing for others’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a judgement of myself because I can see that I do not provide as much for my family as other cousins and relations do for theirs. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self anguish at not ‘standing up’ to the level of money and prestige they have.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having position, status, or reputation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #da0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect position, status, and reputation to fear, so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear, seeing, realising, and understanding that my fear of having actual real standing in the world is my fear of taking full responsibility. And furthermore that this fear is not real in any sense other than a mind sense. And even further more that my fear of taking responsibility rests on my fear of failing.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus when and as I see myself as refusing responsibility out of a fear that ‘I will not be able to do it, I will fail somehow, I am not good/worthy enough’ I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see how this self talk is inhibiting me from achieving my utmost potential, because if I do not step up to things in my life, if I do not ‘step up to the plate’ and instead allow fear of failure to guide me out of doing something that would have otherwise expanded me, then I have lost an opportunity for self growth. And this I will not accept or allow.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to fully see, realise, and understand that the image I hold of my other affluent family members is not truly an image of who and what they are, I see them as successful, having money, having ease of life - not actually seeing that these are all my projections - and that they cannot not match up to how they are actually experiencing themselves - because I cannot truly tell. Thus I cannot compare myself with them in anyway because I do not actually know what they are going through themselves. I will myself to see that the thought ‘because they have money they must be happy’ is not to be trusted and that this comparison serves no purpose other than to limit me.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-59302014789329406032016-04-16T01:55:00.002-07:002016-04-16T01:56:20.833-07:00Day 7 - Authority<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji6X1ZHhUdQJoGIfRFyJ0goQzzN0pRASD0ZHwzfA_v4ha-GqCOJ62WfPsYjYfJF1MWmIMS1zrfs82I34uc5MolbOGVy6-JB4UN5A7oFKkyxhY3HPbiDwefXToLDzxCK2DNj7RekfCNXsg/s1600/respectcartman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji6X1ZHhUdQJoGIfRFyJ0goQzzN0pRASD0ZHwzfA_v4ha-GqCOJ62WfPsYjYfJF1MWmIMS1zrfs82I34uc5MolbOGVy6-JB4UN5A7oFKkyxhY3HPbiDwefXToLDzxCK2DNj7RekfCNXsg/s320/respectcartman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of the word authority.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word authority to fear, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of being ‘told off’ by authority.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being told off by authority’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always try to be in friction with authority figures, participating within the belief that ‘I must show them who the boss of me is’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger at the thought that authority figures in my life have power over me, not seeing, realising, nor understanding that no one really has power over me in this way except me, so that means being given an order or a directive is not the same as having my ‘soul’ bent to another person’s will. It is just a fact that in instances in this world we have people who are in authoritative positions, whose orders and directives we must abide by. Hence I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take these moments personally in a way in which I believe I have been cast down as inferior to this other superior being.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that anybody in an authority position is superior to me, not seeing, realising, and understanding that this these polarities of inferior and superior are not really physically real; as they only exist in the mind of the beholder, hence only by my own self acceptance and self allowance does this belief of being superior and inferior come to pass. Seeing now that everything in this existence is physically equal and quantifiably one. There are no demarcating lines in reality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of authority being ‘used’ on me, seeing, realising, and understanding that I am actually ‘using/ab-using’ these ideas onto myself, of being more or of being less.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘authority being used on me’ to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the belief that ‘I do not like authority figures’ now seeing, realising, and understanding that it is only myself that I do not like, as when I am in the act of debasing myself by allowing myself to believe that I have been ‘cast down’. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that I was/am the caster of this spell.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thus forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the rage and jealousy of authority figures, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this rage and jealousy comes from a place where I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being less than this other being, as being less worthy, less ideal - thus leading me into the position where I say to myself ‘why them and not me?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #6aa84f; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as participating within the polarity design or inferior and superior in regards to the people I see and meet in my life - I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to take a step back from the situation and silently forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have participated in a comparison of myself with another, breathing, seeing, realising, and understanding that this comparison is not me, that I can never ‘be’ this other person, and that what this other being ‘has’ does not define neither I or they unless their is an acceptance and allowance of such definition of ourselves, where we base ourselves on position/standing and/or worldly accomplishments. And so in these moments I will myself to come back to myself, my breathing, my physical body, in a realised fashion - whereby I see and understand the inherent equality and oneness between all things, further seeing that if I allow myself to participate in this kind of comparison I am separating myself from myself.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #6aa84f; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see how inferior and superior are both forms that are created by me - and in the act of creation I am placing a spell on myself so as to severely limit and abuse myself through reactions as emotions, projections, fears, and backchats that serve only to separate me from this existence and myself.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-64889019964882359422016-04-11T11:17:00.001-07:002016-04-11T11:17:43.038-07:00Day 6 - Where's the money?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGxw99B5EIcbe7z-3-kafh8RMhnJ0qO8fCHGItQM6TsUfa9vTLPdSimsYmE7G44imT4io1C168cHetm-8WBnZfT1dp5n4p8KVoTYDjr4YANdFk_4aKh2AllVRUQ2z_YEUdlvxfZYzo_Y/s1600/money.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGxw99B5EIcbe7z-3-kafh8RMhnJ0qO8fCHGItQM6TsUfa9vTLPdSimsYmE7G44imT4io1C168cHetm-8WBnZfT1dp5n4p8KVoTYDjr4YANdFk_4aKh2AllVRUQ2z_YEUdlvxfZYzo_Y/s320/money.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will not hear these words directly, but they will come from a subtle angle, I will be compared to other people in my family. I’ll hear my father and/or mother saying ‘but where is the money from the business idea? It’s taking so long’.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-47c9e708-0688-9475-b8bf-c619b4dec8c3" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I became deeply offended at the idea of taking so long to make financial gains, I would say things like ‘these things take time’ or ‘it’s a development in progress’ or ‘it’s a very hard job I do you know?!’. These statements were of course not as justifying as I was making them out to be. I knew I was lying to myself. I know that I was not really applying myself 100% and that I was not really invested in the idea of actually working for myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So all these other excuses came to the fore, I said to myself ‘but I already have a job - that’s why i’m not applying myself’ or ‘I work a lot already - to work more would be ludicrous’. So I could see that there was a certain level of comfort in ‘the way things already were’ - thinking ‘why would I want to change this?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger when I hear my parents comparing me to other members of my family.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am being compared to other members of my family whenever my parents talk about how much money I make.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in offence when I hear the word ‘idea’ within ‘business idea’ being spoken by my mother, taking it to mean that what I am working on is just an idea and as such everything that I am ‘doing’ is not real. That it somehow means that what I am doing is not solid or tangible or feasible and that I should ‘move on’. Furthermore I see that these statements are all me - and that I hold onto them within myself as a definition of myself, so I am in fact the one making everything an idea, an infeasibility, a non-solid structure. Not seeing or realising that to make something real, real things have to be done. I cannot just imagine something into existence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not succeeding within my business.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility for my business, believing that I can just get away with doing the bare minimum.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to participate in a judgement of myself for not making money quickly.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say ‘but these things take time’ not really meaning these words but rather hiding behind these words to cover my procrastination and avoidance.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that work is hard, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I actually fear failure, I fear the process not working, and in so doing I limit myself so that I do not have to face failure in any form, because if I have done nothing - then there is nothing to fail. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a fear of failure - connecting failure to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Furthermore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not apply myself when it comes to my work for the same fear of failure.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not living up to the examples set by others, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I must focus on my self and my own process within my life and my business, seeing and realising that comparison is a complete mind fuck.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that because I have a job already, that my other business does not take precedence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the excuse that because ‘I have a job already’ … ‘that is why I am not applying myself’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become too comfortable in my current position, not seeing or realising that my current position is not the best that it can be, and that I have an opportunity to go much further in helping more people within the whole life of their education.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that ‘to work more would be ludicrous as I already work too much’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself reacting to my mother’s words in relation to my business and see that I am reacting with anger towards them - I stop and I breathe. I will myself to take a look at what words I am responding too and to then investigate this response so that I can see what it is I am showing and highlighting to myself - as all of it will be me, and it will be something that I have allowed to define me. And in doing this I will release myself through self forgiveness and set a course of correction through writing, and then living the writing into reality, creating myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself comparing myself to another person’s process and feeling bad because I do not live up their apparent ‘standard’ I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see, realise, and understand that comparison means nothing in this sense, and that I allow myself to severely limit me by not allowing myself to feel bad because of what I ‘see’ as another person having over me. Not seeing that I am actually not seeing the situation properly, and that I am lying to myself by comparing myself, as there is nothing to compare myself to except me. I can only gauge myself according to who I was, am, and will allow myself to be.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus a will myself to focus on my own self expansion and self expression and no longer stifle myself through unnecessary comparisons with other people in my reality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that living my utmost potential means taking the physical steps necessary to move myself every single day, it is exactly the same process involved in learning, Thus I see and realise that it is just simple movement, every day..</span></div>
<br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-87270646932619304212016-04-07T11:15:00.002-07:002016-04-07T11:15:18.766-07:00Day 5 - Nothings happening!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3RZYNFhM8glY0jbiYv4JGu3I_i5b2eNsbRm9TXZg0NB8_SN6pvts6-N75uaoQqJiNR5OrQnOpC2SXc6BAP1ebB_TfT4iMeZ9V2SF75iPEEDK-8ysLsxIfujWTYdiuXlTsGQWowMIc7g/s1600/all-or-nothing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3RZYNFhM8glY0jbiYv4JGu3I_i5b2eNsbRm9TXZg0NB8_SN6pvts6-N75uaoQqJiNR5OrQnOpC2SXc6BAP1ebB_TfT4iMeZ9V2SF75iPEEDK-8ysLsxIfujWTYdiuXlTsGQWowMIc7g/s320/all-or-nothing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I hear these words I get angry because I am saying to myself ‘how dare my mother tell me that there are no fruits to my labor, how dare she point that out to me, does she not know how hard I am working?!’</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a038f205-f1e9-b0ec-cc6f-5c35319bbcb9" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I take these words personally; I actually believe them myself in that I see and say to myself ‘hey, nothing is happening’. So there is the need to point out to the rest of the world ‘well actually, something IS happening, you just can’t see it!’ And so I would hide behind these words and make myself believe they are true.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am beginning to realise that to make something happen, I actually have to do things - I have to make the move, I have to take steps and actually DO. I have always seen that within myself there is a tendency to just let things ‘go the way they want’ - not ever really offering my own direction but rather ‘going with the flow’. In this context going with the flow means, for me, hoping things will ‘move’ and ‘get better’ by themselves, through some magical outside agency. This isn’t how it works.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And so when I hear these words coming from another person towards me, I get angry at them, and I get angry at myself for not doing the things I know I need to do - but rather just sitting and waiting.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger when I hear my mother asking me ‘what have you got to show for it?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I ‘need something to show’ for what I have been doing.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that in life I need to ‘have something’ to prove that my life is ‘worth something’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief that life needs to be defined according to ‘things that I have’ like money, status, and influence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that this idea that I need something outside of myself to give my life purpose is a fabrication of mind that separates me from myself and from existence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind when it comes to the agreement that I must have these ‘things’ to make me ‘whole’, not seeing, realising, or understanding how my participation in this construct stops me from living my natural expression and living on behalf of myself instead of others.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a self judgement of myself whereby I say to myself that I am unworthy and incapable because ‘nothing is moving’ in my business.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I am not even really taking the necessary steps to get things moving within my business, I can see that I have not pushed myself one hundred percent in making my business a success, so I can see that obviously things will not move if i do not move them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that I actually have to do things to make things happen.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just let things go the way they will, without once considering that I am not being the directive principle behind the choices in my life, rather just apparently letting life ‘choose’ for me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that going with the flow is good - not seeing, realising, nor understanding that in this context going with the flow means to me ‘not doing anything’, just sitting and waiting for things to happen, waiting for other people to do things.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that my life will just move along by itself and that all the situations I experience will be resolved by themselves.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a hope that my life will somehow sort itself out without me having to Do anything.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry when somebody points out the truth of my situation in that ‘nothing is happening’ in my life, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is only so - because I have allowed it to be so - through not moving myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself thinking to myself that I need ‘something’ outside of me to grant me wholeness and ‘peace of mind’ I stop and I breathe, I will myself to slow down, to look, and to realise that I do not need anything outside of myself to give me purpose or direction in my life, breathing and living my forgiveness into reality in each moment, redefining and living the words self responsibility and authority in each moment creating a trustworthy, responsible human being that is worthy of living on earth, this is my directive</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as going into a despair at what is happening within my business and my life - I stop and I breathe - I will myself to take it slow and to define exactly what it is my steps should be in regard to a point, so for instance getting leads - I can write down the steps I know are necessary to get the ball moving, and it is then simply a case of following them, creating more steps, and seeing where each step goes. Seeing each step fulfilled and moving onto the next, creating movement within myself and thus my life.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-41653758215486976372016-04-02T05:24:00.001-07:002016-04-07T01:44:39.923-07:00Day 4 - What are you doing with all this time son?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj22DUzT4kDpGtGaMB6KdgP9pwrRhctWG63L1PLT8IWAt4jmfSUm1xKCqAOtUxEconlWWNakCNJu0yNZIbB_JDpuIHjn0uvMw9untoVz0_OOaZ3q83B6-Xq1cV83ZuBE7V_pHUYsfzgf0g/s1600/Im-Running-Out-Of-Time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj22DUzT4kDpGtGaMB6KdgP9pwrRhctWG63L1PLT8IWAt4jmfSUm1xKCqAOtUxEconlWWNakCNJu0yNZIbB_JDpuIHjn0uvMw9untoVz0_OOaZ3q83B6-Xq1cV83ZuBE7V_pHUYsfzgf0g/s320/Im-Running-Out-Of-Time.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For the most part I could agree that when my mother used to say things like ‘what are you doing with all your time? I would respond by saying something to the effect of ‘I am working, I am working hard, leave me alone, I know what I am doing’. This was all a fabrication of course, I wasn’t in fact working hard at all and I didn’t really know what I was doing.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-073eb23b-d6e9-4dc9-f196-ddfcc6f1e6a8" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Later in life I started down the road of business, it was a new thing for me and many interesting things were and still are happening. I was then confronted with these words in some similar form, and I again found myself becoming angry.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I would receives questions like ‘you’re spending all this time doing this, what will come of it?...Why don’t you get a more stable job?...When will you start seeing the reward’. The last one I became particularly irritable towards as I saw myself as a sort of humble hero - thinking to myself ‘I’m not in it for the money geez!’. When in actual fact I was totally in it for the money. She had again inadvertently identified my weak point, and blew off my proverbial legs.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger when hearing my mother say to me ‘what are you doing with all this time?’ Going into the belief that she is trying to say that I am not doing enough and that I am being lazy, not seeing, realising, and understanding that I am actually stating to myself ‘I am lazy’ or ‘I am not making the most of my time’ because I can see that I am reacting to her words - and when I react to her words I am demonstrating to myself that I have taken her words personally, ergo I have revealed to myself that I think and believe that what she is saying about me is true.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the excuse of ‘I am working’ when in reality I am not working, but am using these words as justification for doing my own thing - allowing myself to be lost in a realm of entertainment.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am working hard, not seeing, realising, or understanding that within this statement I am giving myself permission to fulfil the other side of this polarity, which is ‘to not work hard’, and so I allow myself to cycle between these states of apparent ‘hard work’ and then ‘justified reward’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I know what I am doing when I say the words ‘I know what I am doing’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in offence at my mother asking me the question ‘what are you doing with all this time?’, believing that because I am now involved in business - my life has direction and meaning, and that she is completely unjustified in saying this, not seeing, realising, or understanding that in taking offence and becoming angry I am demonstrating to myself that I am not actually living these words, that I am not really having this direction and purpose in my life even though I say to myself and others that I am.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger when I hear my mother saying to me ‘what are you doing with this time? What is coming of it? Why don't you get a more stable job?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having anything to show for all the apparent ‘hard work’ I have put in, seeing, realising, and understanding that I am not actually doing this ‘hard work’ that I say to others I am doing, and so when I hear someone ‘call me out’ I react with anger and offence because I can see that I have not been applying myself as much as I say I am.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am a humble hero when it comes to my work practice, that I am doing ‘all of this’ for the sake and benefit of others, to the point where I say to myself ‘I am not in it for the money’, not seeing, realising, and understanding that ‘the money’ is all I have ever been ‘in it’ for.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in despair whenever my mother pushes my buttons, not seeing or realising that she is actually showing to me what I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself, that everything I react too, I have created and accepted as within myself, that every time I say ‘but’ there is in fact a point that I am holding onto as a definition point that I hold about myself. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in a belief that I am justified in my reaction of anger towards somebody asking me ‘where all my time goes’ I stop and slow down and breathe and see and realise that these ideas of hard work and justified reward are a polarity that I am choosing to accept, allow, and play out in my life. I will myself to stop and forgive myself whenever I see myself thinking and participating in these patterns, and to breathe and forgive until they are no more, to actually begin to take authority over me in not allowing myself to be subject to these thoughts, feelings, emotions, and backchats that I have taken to be who I am.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I will myself to investigate and live the word authority in my life, authority in taking of standing up to my mind, of investigating, of writing, of doing self forgiveness and of living my corrections in life. To really investigate all things within myself and see the why’s and how’s of who I am so that I can truly get to know myself and live myself as natural expression, and not just a programmed robot.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-38318410739461654392016-03-27T10:28:00.002-07:002016-03-27T10:28:19.874-07:00Day 3 - My Family. My Cult. My Design SF and SCS<b id="docs-internal-guid-9974d031-b91d-4e2a-394c-a1e864845d19" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the belief that I must be a slave to my family.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must do everything for my family because they did everything for me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am indebted to my family for all the things they have ‘done’ for me in terms of my existence and survival.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear for my parents survival while growing up, connecting my parents survival to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of not listening to my mother for fear of causing her stress and her dying, connecting her dying through stress to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words ‘do you want me to die?’ With fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words ‘do you want me to die’ to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to do things for myself, like cook, make money, go out and buy necessities, etc. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect independence to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that not knowing something is not a permanent state, and that anything can be learnt through dedicated practice and application of oneself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to belief that I owe them for bringing me up - that I have a debt to pay to them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I ‘must’ pay the bills and ‘look after things’, not seeing, realising, or understanding that these are simply responsibilities that everyone needs to face within the current system.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take these responsibilities personally.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as competition towards and within my family structure, believing that I must show that I am better in all ways to those who are within my family as well as my world, as the I see that I have not allowed the competition to simply end at the family boundary, but that I have extended to everyone else in my world.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at being compared to other people in my family or world by my parents. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my parents for placing me against other people, and showing disappointment when I do not pass the mark.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger towards my parents when I see them respond in jubilation when I have passed or exceeded their expectations.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up the race within myself because I could see everyone else passing me, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I do not have to race for the sake of others, and that everything I do, I can do for myself, not allowing myself to be concerned with how others perceive my progress but only focusing on me and on who I am within what I do. Asking myself the question, am I doing this for others sakes? Or am I doing this for myself? To further myself and expand myself within this world.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the belief that I must be in a rageful rebellion against the world and all those who have surpassed me not seeing, realising, or understanding that I am in a rageful rebellion against myself in the truest sense of the words, as I am fighting with my own self, setting up my own limitations and own pass marks, and bullying myself when I do not live up to the standards that I have made within myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to set myself up to fail, because when one compares themselves to another in this sense and in this way, then failure is the only outcome, as one will always find something better in the other that makes one feel low and inferior, and eventually angry and rageful, and then one does not want to do anything that could further their own potential because ‘what’s the point?’</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit on the fence about most things that happen in my family because I believe it is all based on emotional nonsense. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents as stupid for having participated in the dramas of life to the extent to which they have done.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that it is my right to be able to abstain from family matters as long as I keep bringing in money.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of talking to them on any real level because I fear being dragged into their world of what is right and wrong, what is holy and unholy, what should and should not be done. Not seeing, realising, nor understanding that I can still talk to them in a real way, not just automatically - without emotionally involving myself. I forgive myself for connecting becoming emotionally involved to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of my parents not being able to look after themselves at all, connecting my parents not being able to look after themselves to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being the sole provider for my family, connecting being the sole provider to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear for my family's survival, allowing myself to connect my family's survival to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of and for my family. Allowing myself to connect the whole idea of my family to fear, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear. Not seeing, realising, or understanding how everything that I do within my family structure is based upon a fear of something, and that these fears are not real but also considering that they have taken much time to manifest and so will take time to walk out of breath by breath, always remaining here.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand that everything I do, I do for myself, I breathe, I write, I forgive myself. I work, I eat, I speak, I sleep. I direct myself live the realisation and understanding that I am not a slave to my family unless I allow myself to be trapped in the fear of family. Thus when and as I see myself as fearing for the sake of my family, I stop and I breathe and I see and realise and understand that This is what makes me a slave to them, a slave to the family construct.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And so I will myself to stop, forgive, and correct the fear for/of family in all its forms until it is done and finished and they are no more. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see, realise, and understand how everything can be learnt, and that I need not fear not knowing something.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as faced with a new responsibility, I stop and I breathe,l and I allow myself a moment to take in this new point and see whether or not it is something that I can take on in self honesty, to not allow myself to simply take it on because ‘that is how it has always been’ but to look and assess, and then decide and act. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others will think of me if I say ‘no’ to some responsibility, connecting what other people think of me when I say ‘no’ to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself comparing myself to other human being either in my family or world, I stop and I breathe. I will myself to see, realise, and understand that we are all equal through substance, and that when I allow myself to go into jealousy or anger when I see that someone has ‘more’ than me, I am saying to myself that I have given myself permission to limit my horizons within this world. Because within this statement of comparison I am giving up my ability to expand myself further, allowing myself to go into the belief that I can never reach that point that this other being is at, just because I am not there right now. Hence I see and realise that within these moments I am sabotaging myself, where I could have expanded myself and begun a new process of self development..</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself talking to my family from a starting point of automation and thinking that it would be weird to stop and take a step back and take a breath - I stop and I breathe, I will myself to see, realise, and understand that the weirdness I feel is all me, it is me being concerned with how I appear in the eyes of others and as such it is just another fear that serves to keep me inside a severely limited realm of validation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to expose to myself the extent to which fear dominates me on a moment to moment basis, to investigate and expunge through self forgiveness, and to correct myself in the best way possible, living the best version of me that is free from fear and limitations.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Tqh2b1riHJtiiFpWYaxTlNhMTrTkIjCdDKUepX_cJrV_Qdlp1aLeHrxV8pyIXsWRUCR4Yvq8gXaDDV1amohZDhLkrE6V2-9dULEQU2t-gBR08xlUZNxyO65rjOOCSPlYc8dnAwE515k/s1600/Feather.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Tqh2b1riHJtiiFpWYaxTlNhMTrTkIjCdDKUepX_cJrV_Qdlp1aLeHrxV8pyIXsWRUCR4Yvq8gXaDDV1amohZDhLkrE6V2-9dULEQU2t-gBR08xlUZNxyO65rjOOCSPlYc8dnAwE515k/s320/Feather.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-1177718082108045602016-03-25T01:13:00.002-07:002016-03-25T01:14:27.240-07:00Day 3 - My Family, My Cult, My Design<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3HlYjMxvq5yjl3TOhoIBrxiwlsmWJklUf92wux2m0usdc7zQaow8I-JQAl5K8yado9f76XLtdWhnTtRUKG_SIPLjmOsx0SDUBIRZIkTVFWNHAIB21XEBtfoXdnuUKdRpYMj64uy8H6M/s1600/Feather.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3HlYjMxvq5yjl3TOhoIBrxiwlsmWJklUf92wux2m0usdc7zQaow8I-JQAl5K8yado9f76XLtdWhnTtRUKG_SIPLjmOsx0SDUBIRZIkTVFWNHAIB21XEBtfoXdnuUKdRpYMj64uy8H6M/s320/Feather.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am a slave to my family, this is how I have set it up within me - everything I do, I do for family.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-91091297-accc-d7b1-de94-24bf780b315f" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The use of fear as a tool to manipulate me was used extensively when growing up, whenever I would not listen to my mother for instance, when not desiring to do something like eat, pray, go to mosque, she would become visibly stressed, saying to me ‘do you want me to die?!’ This whole concept of death as emotional blackmail is somewhat amusing now, but back then it was very serious, it put me in a life or death mode. In those moments I would internally say something along the lines of ‘holy shit, she is right! Who will cook for me? Who will clothe me? I’ll die without these people around me, paying the bills, doing this and that for me - I don’t know how to do any of that for myself!’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And so the situation now is that I am the one paying the bills, ‘being the man’...’looking after shit’...’sorting shit out’. And this is because I feel I owe them, owe them for all those years of ‘hard work’ that they ‘put in’. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Within my family structure there was also a strong tendency towards competition in immediate and mostly extended family, as children we were always being compared to each other in terms of who got the best results in their exams and studies. It was like ‘who could show off their kids the most?!’ This made me very angry when I was younger, when my parents would show disappointment in me for not standing up to another member of the family, how they would pretend like they ‘still loved me all the same’ when in fact their faces and their words were showing incredible disappointment at ‘not making the grade’ (this all happened at a time when I was not able to verbalise exactly what it was happening, and so I just became more angry). For a time I kept up, and then I gave up, seeing the other cousins surpass me is something that depressed me and made me very jealous. So this was part of my rebellion; ‘If I cannot beat them in studies, I will beat them by going completely the other way, I will be everything that they cannot be outside of religion, I will drink and smoke and do drugs and have experiences that they will not be able too’. This was my revenge clause that I stated to myself throughout the years and that I still state now when I am reminded of their now successful positions in life. I quietly utter to myself ‘but I am still better’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So as is stands currently within my family I see myself as taking the bench on most things, I try my utmost to not become involved in their matters and am only concerned with things of a financial and practical nature. For the most part I do not really communicate with any of them on a real level and my words are all just surface level expressions, like ‘how are you? … What are you doing today?’ Never really meaning anything I say.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I see that I am very fearful for my parents now, fearing soon that they will not be able to provide for themselves, and that I will have to be some sort of sole provider. Everything within my family structure as it stands is based on fear. Everything. It is like there has never been a moment where I am not in some way fearing for the existence of my family, whether is was money fears, family interpersonal relationship fears, cultural fears, fears of not living up to the ‘standard’.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am beginning to see and understand the extent to which fear has played developmental role in my unfolding as a being, and how this was passed down from my parents (and subsequently cycled within myself), from one generation to the next, from one family member to the next, ad nauseum.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1953662055093956520.post-75948023484928129902016-03-20T11:51:00.003-07:002016-03-20T11:51:47.035-07:00Day 2 - The Good Guy Syndrome SF and SCS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmdHMpzaDsjaMEmjv122e3Q1nnSo-ovYo0Ge5geXnkMfqCcHAN-G4crkNg3tXM2CscbmlCrP5FMVJAxxAWkg9ZHLDbaZytmBlF-9BjYLt8SVp5MUHsvglQC-EQxhRTsRGc5aYk2YurFE/s1600/Relationships.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmdHMpzaDsjaMEmjv122e3Q1nnSo-ovYo0Ge5geXnkMfqCcHAN-G4crkNg3tXM2CscbmlCrP5FMVJAxxAWkg9ZHLDbaZytmBlF-9BjYLt8SVp5MUHsvglQC-EQxhRTsRGc5aYk2YurFE/s320/Relationships.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of hell.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-3364e356-955b-7063-af4b-691f66b990ca" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect hell to fear, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that if I do not do something correctly then I will be punished.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of punishment, connecting being punished to fear, thus I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly believe what my parents and teachers have told me without any sort of self investigation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a rebellion against my parents and the faith that they are a part of. Not seeing, realising, or understanding that the rebellion came from my acceptance of faith, heaven, and hell.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am going in the opposite direction to faith by going into eastern mystical philosophies believing that they are my ‘way out’ of my faith - not seeing, realising, or understanding that I am just using them as an excuse to believe what I want to believe, creating my own faith instead, and believing in my own heaven and hell.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that though I say to myself ‘I do not believe in hell anymore’ - I have created my own interpretation of what it means to be in hell i.e. to not be in heaven, samadhi, enlightenment, to fall into my mind.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be a good person, not seeing, realising, or understanding that the idea of good is something that I have created in my head without any awareness of what it actually means to be ‘good’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that to be ‘good’ is to ‘do’ what is best for all life within a principle of equality and oneness. Seeing, realising, and understanding that being good in my own bubble does very little to affect the rest of existence, and in this way nothing ‘good’ can really be done.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I can live according to principles of what is best for all as the living of my ideal self where I take everything into consideration, and not just my myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect with people on basis of trying emulate goodness, not seeing, realising, or understanding how I am not really living as a real person but as a fabrication of a person.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that this fabrication effort takes energy and resources away from me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must use this fabrication of self to get through the day so that I do not offend people’s sensibilities or get into conflicts.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that the world is a jungle and that I have allowed myself to fear this jungle, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the world to fear, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an attempt to try to protect people from being offended by me, not saying what I really want to say to them, not telling them the truth of a matter but rather lying to them because I am scared of what might happen.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the need to protect people from being hurt emotionally, not seeing, or realising that I cannot protect people from themselves, I can only focus on who I am within myself in each moment of breath, making sure that I am operating living up to my principles, living as my ideal version of myself. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to protect people from themselves, not seeing, realising, or understanding that I cannot do this, it is not possible. Furthermore not seeing, realising, or understanding that I must live my utmost potential in each and every breath moment before I can common sensically help people in seeing and living common sense in a way that gets them to take responsibility for themselves.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others when I see them going through their own polarities of hard work and reward, believing them to be stupid, backchatting to myself ‘do they not know that they are stuck in a cycle?’ Not seeing, realising, or understanding how I can instead focus myself to that very polarity that I myself participate in terms of the construct of ‘hard’ work and ‘justified reward’.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy things I don’t need and eat food when I am not hungry.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in excess because I secretly feel I have been doing a lot of hard work, or that I am shouldering big responsibilities.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I am shouldering big responsibilities when in fact they are just responsibilities and I am the one making them bigger than they actually are.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things bigger than they are, not seeing, realising, and understanding that the problems I face in my life, are problems of my own making, that I have made up - molehills I have made into mountains.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of getting into conflict with people, connecting getting into conflict with people to fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the need to not upset other people.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give attention to what other people think of me, instead of giving myself self attention as a genuine and real act of self caring and self compassion, as a real moment where I do something good for myself and choose to live myself instead of limit myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as needing to rebel against my parents I stop and I breathe and I write down what it is that is bugging me in that moment that is making me need to want to rebel against them, what am I defining myself by in this moment? I will myself to forgive, let go, breath and move on through these moments.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in a desire to seek some other state of being, some heavenly existence, I stop and I breathe and I will myself to see, realise, and understand that these states of being that I seek are not real. I will myself to understand that these are the very mind states that I must let go of to find who I am beyond imaginary mind constructs.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself as stepping into the Good Guy Character I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to my breathing and to the nucleus of my being and I live the understanding that this is not the ideal version of me, and as such must be done away with. I will myself to see, realise, and understand how this fabricated character is played out within myself and that it is based on fear of upsetting, fear of conflict, as fear of not being seen the way I want to be seen in the eyes of others.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see that my fear of the world is my own fear that I have connected to it through and from past experiences. I will myself to see that these experiences and projections do not define me unless I give my permission. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to see how protecting people from their own emotions is actually me trying to protect myself from having to deal with their emotions that I take personally.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other people’s emotions personally, seeing, realising, and now understanding that I only ever make it personal for myself, by myself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and as I see myself participating in the belief that I have big responsibilities to shoulder I stop and I breathe and I see the pattern that I am participating in, which here is ‘work and reward’, I will myself to breathe through and forgive myself for believing that my responsibilities are especially big, seeing that I have actually made them out to be bigger than they are, and how they in actual fact, just day to day responsibilities that every human being on the planet is subject to. No one can escape these fundamental responsibilities. And in fact they are nothing that needs to be escaped from, only understood, in the context of the wider picture.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #38761d; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will myself to stop worrying about what other people think of me, how I am seen in the eyes of others, and I also will myself to stop making mountains out of molehills, creating problems and obstacle where there are none to be found. I will myself to when faced with an actual real problem that needs to be solved, to slow down and to breathe, and to realise and understand that problem solving need not be a difficult process.</span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15062572659147403430noreply@blogger.com0