Day 11 - Directive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being directive means being in charge of things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I must be in charge of things because it shows I have power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise, and understand that I am defining myself as somebody who does not have any power as this is revealed to me in my need to show people that I have power. Hence showing myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as powerless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly wish that I was a leader.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fantasy that I am a leader of people, not fully seeing, realising, or understanding that this only exists within my mind as fantasies and imaginations, where I take real life situations out of context and make them more than they actually are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that being directive means telling people what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that telling people what to do means showing power, not seeing, realising, or understanding that real power is something which I have not fully grasped yet, which I have not yet defined for myself. So I see that I must base my power on self honesty and living words that I have ‘formatted’ and redefined for myself in a way that supports All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that telling people what to do and how to do it makes me a better person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this belief that being a better person must come from outside of me and must be exhibited in my actions of being able to effectively lead and shepherd people, not seeing, realising, and understanding that what I really want for myself is to be an upstanding human being whose living is based on principles that benefit, whose existence adds instead of takes away.

Therefore I will myself to let go of the notion that being this ideal human being, this ideal version of myself must come from outside of myself, willing myself to see, realise, and understand that this potential principled living of me can only come from within myself as how I choose to breathe, think, and act in the world, and whether or not this is based upon self honesty.

I will myself to see, realise, and understand that real power, real authority comes from a self stability that itself comes from getting to know oneself, through the tools of writing and self forgiveness I direct myself to become this power within myself and my life and to apply these tools everyday for myself.

When and as I see myself going into a fantasy of being a leader of people, or having control and/or authority I stop and I breathe - and I will myself to see where this fantasy is coming from, and in seeing where it has come from to stop and release myself through self forgiveness and breath, and to come back down to reality where the real work of self improvement happens. Because self improvement does not come to me from my mind’s projections and hallucinations but rather it comes about through dedicated self investigation in self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on fantasy to placate any real world desire to self expansion.